Ep. 005: A Breakthrough on Fatigue and Letting Go of Control with Ama
This is not like most podcasts. Few allow you to sit in on an enlightened conversation with a Master Teacher, and gain the learnings; even have your own breakthroughs…or even be on the show yourself!
Today, we visit the Netherlands, and speak to Ama, who is looking for a breakthrough on a couple of issues – around the topics of fatigue and letting go of control, that are worked through in just under 40 minutes.
Key Points From the Interview:
- How she was used to fatigue from her job as an air hostess, but since Covid, the fatigue has escalated to a whole new level.
- How physical symptoms generally have a mental/emotional component as cause, even if science has not quite caught up yet!
- The Spiritual purpose (a very plausible theory) of the Covid-19 pandemic, and how it makes complete sense to Ama, given the issues she is working on.
- A demonstration of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique – or tapping) and a powerful use of the Belief Tree Process, as the root of the problem is addressed.
- A key understanding of the difference between practicing the vibration of unworthiness and it being an actual truth. And how to resolve it.
Value Bombs in this Episode
- When you slow down, the things you need to work through have the opportunity to come up to the surface in order to be dealt with.
- Fatigue and depletion correlated directly to the amount of resistance you practice.
- One dominating pattern of behavior that leads to depletion is the constant need to control your circumstances.
- Source would never co-create a human being (including you) that is unworthy.
- All circumstances are neutral, we get to define the meaning of circumstance.
- When you carry specific emotional baggage, it is very easy to get triggered into the negative emotions of that baggage.
- With every change in belief, with every change in perspective, we become a new person with a new vibration.
- Emotions are our guidance system, when we ignore our emotions we ignore our guidance system.
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Show Notes
0:20 – Nick welcomes Ama to the show.
0:40 – Ama shares how she started her journey reading books by Louise Hay years ago, and is now a fan of Abraham-Hicks and other authors.
1:20 – Ama shares how she suffers from a lot of fatigue and has been diagnosed with post covid syndrome. She talks about how she used to be a marathon runner and now she can’t even walk her dog without being exhausted. She also mentions how she had been living, even pre-covid, with an energetic cup being dominantly empty.
3:30 – Nick shares a bit of his background in helping others with physical symptoms through mental and emotional inner work.
4:10 – Nick shares his interpretation of covid from a spiritual standpoint and the underlying theme of forcing people to slow down and catch their breath.
4:40 – Nick talks about the importance of slowing down.
6:00 – Nick starts to use probing questions to dig into the root cause of Ama’s fatigue.
7:15 – Ama talks about her need to control her reality.
8:30 – Nick begins the clearing work on the fear of letting go of control.
10:35 – Nick begins reframing the feeling of unworthiness with Ama.
12:30 – Ama’s feeling of being unworthy has now shifted from a 9 down to a 6 out of 10.
14:00 – Ama talks about how she has a nagging underlying “barking dog” that keeps trying to reinforce that she is unworthy. That she has this underlying barking down that always wins.
15:05 – Nick asks Ama if she’d like to reclaim her power over this barking dog in her mind.
15:30 – Nick helps Ama reframe not good enough using Vin Diesel as an example and talking about how we get triggered into our emotional baggage.
17:50 – Nick uses the process of Emotional Freedom Technique / EFT / Tapping to assist Ama release the feeling of unworthiness.
21:40 – Ama feeling of unworthiness has now dropped all the way down to a 3.
24:20 – Ama has fully released that unworthiness feeling.
24:40 – Nick and Ama start working on the energy of fatigue Ama is feeling in her body which Ama is feeling at a 9 out of 10.
26:00 – Ama realizes that she has a feeling that it’s not safe to slow down because when she does, she then needs to feel the negative emotions she may be feeling.
29:30 – Nick helps Ama address an underlying feeling of not being good enough. Ama shares the link between her feeling not good enough and how she was bullied as a child.
32:30 – Nick and Ama using EFT / Tapping on the feeling of not being good enough and being bullied.
36:10 – That feeling of not good enough has dropped from a 9 all the way down to a 2.
36:30 – Nick helps Ama send some love and support to her inner child.
38:30 – Nick shares some final affirmations with Ama and how she is good enough.
39:15 – Ama shares how she feels so much lighter, and that the feeling of fatigue from the beginning of the call feels very different now, as if it has a coat of love over it.
Nick: Welcome to Change Your Reality. I'm your host, Nick Breau. And today we're doing a segment called The 30 Minute Breakthrough, where we bring in one of our audience members who has a specific circumstance that they'd like to shift, and see how big a shift we can create in roughly 30 minutes. Today my guest is Ama from the Netherlands. Ama, how are you doing today?
Ama: Great. Thank you. Great to be here.
Nick: Good, good. And you're pretty new to my platform. I saw you recently just started reading my book, which is amazing, but you've been studying world of law of attraction and self-help for a while, I believe?
Ama: Yeah, correct. Yeah.
Nick: Yeah. You told me you're are a fan of Abraham Hicks as well.
Ama: Yeah. I started with Louise Hay and then, in one of her books, she mentions Abraham Hicks. But at the time, there wasn't computers or internet, so you just had to do it with the books.
Nick: Yeah. Books. The old school thing called books.
Ama: Old school books. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you couldn't do research like people do now.
Nick: Amazing.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Absolutely. That's so funny. And today we are going to do a breakthrough, and I think you told me you wanted to talk about a breakthrough in fatigue.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Perfect. So do you want to explain a little bit about what you're experiencing, and where you'd like to go with your fatigue? So what do you look like now? And what's the destination that you're looking for?
Ama: Well, I've been diagnosed with post-COVID syndrome and because of that, I experience a lot of fatigue, and this means that I get up and then I have to decide whether I take a shower or make breakfast, because the two together is too much. And then after that, I have to go back to bed to make it through the day. So my days are, well, split between rest and activity, rest and activity. And I used to be a marathon runner, and now I can't even walk my dog without being exhausted. Yeah.
Nick: Okay. So very high levels of fatigue.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Very interesting. And the fatigue, was it very before COVID? Did you go from being full of energy, to COVID, to zero energy? Or did you go from being somewhat fatigued to now just being extremely fatigued?
Ama: Well, I work as a senior flight attendant for KLM, the Royal Dutch airline, so I know what fatigue is. Jet lag and, well, being tired and not having enough days to rest in the spare time. So I was familiar with fatigue, yeah. But not in the way I am experiencing it now.
Nick: Perfect. Would you say that you were operating with a energetic cup dominantly empty or dominantly full?
Ama: Empty.
Nick: Mostly empty most of the time. And COVID maybe pushed you over the edge a little bit further.
Ama: Exactly.
Nick: Okay, perfect. And just a quick disclaimer about health and medical conditions, I am not a doctor. I'm not giving medical advice. I'm simply sharing my experiences on working with clients with physical conditions. I've worked with a lot of clients with things such as fatigue, autoimmune disease, IBS, and in my experience, a lot of these conditions have a mental-emotional root cause. And when you work through these mental-emotional root causes, you see very positive shifts in those conditions. I don't think any of that's been proven by science, so I'm not claiming that, but in my experience working with people, those are some of the shifts that I've seen.
Ama: Okay.
Nick: Now let's talk about fatigue, and let's talk a little bit about COVID. I want to share a little bit about my interpretation of COVID from a spiritual standpoint, and my spiritual interpretation of COVID is that it's all about slowing down. It's all about catching your breath, which is another word for taking a pause and slowing down. And when you see all of the lockdowns happening in the world, when you see society almost came to a halt. Right? So the energetic theme, in my opinion of COVID, is getting society, getting people, to slow down, because what happens when you slow down to catch your breath is the things that you need to work through have more of an opportunity to come to the surface, and to work through them and to have them dealt with. So that's not a bad thing-
Ama: No.
Nick: ... because it brings evolution and expansion and new awareness.
But of course, we want you to now shift out of your fatigue, so we get you to a place where you're feeling again.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Now fatigue, if you asked Abraham Hicks about fatigue, what Abraham Hicks says is that your level of fatigue or your level of depletion is directly correlating to the amount of resistance that you practice. So the more heavy emotions that you carry, the more pressure you put on your shoulders, the more energy you give into fear and other things, then the more energy you're leaking from your body, the more fatigue you're going to feel.
And she even said that if you had no resistance, you would not have any need to sleep as a human, which is kind of cool. She said you could never get to that point because in the physical body, there's always going to be some forms of resistance. So when it comes to fatigue, it's about looking at what do I have going on resistance-wise? What am I possibly pushing against that's creating this fatigue in me.
Ama: Cool.
Nick: So if I were to ask you, this fatigue, this tired feeling, the fact that I'm experiencing this circumstance, how does it make me feel? Does it make me feel stuck? Powerless? Unworthy? Angry? Is there a specific emotion that really comes to mind in this fatigue?
Ama: Powerless.
Nick: Powerless. Okay. And physically, have you ever had any other kind of repeating or chronic physical issues, like lower back problems, neck-shoulder problems, migraines?
Ama: Well...
Nick: Anything come to mind?
Ama: Lower back problems, but I relate that to the job, to the work I'm doing. And, well, neck and shoulder pain is a common thing in my life.
Nick: Yeah. So those are the two that I see the most. So vibrationally, tight, tense, neck and shoulders is typically relating to stress, pressure, overwhelm, not good enough.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And then lower back is typically related to feeling stuck or lack of control.
I want to ask a few more questions. We're going to do a bit of a quick attraction point audit, just to see if we can pinpoint what's dominantly your source of resistance that's really depleting you.
Ama: Well. You said it already. Lack of control because that is when I... I have the need to control everything. Otherwise, I don't know what happens, but I have to control it.
Nick: Perfect. Okay, so we'll probably start there with the clearing work, because if you feel like you need to control everything all of the time, then wouldn't you think that... while that would be a very depleting state of being to be in all the time?
Ama: Of course.
Nick: Absolutely. Okay. And if I ask you, this lack of control feeling, can you tune into it? Can you feel that feeling? That it's not safe to lose control?
Ama: That it's not safe to lose control?
Nick: There's a couple of different ways to word it. So let me know which one feels the strongest. The stuck feeling...
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: ... the powerless feeling, or it's not safe to let go of control. Which of those has a bigger charge for you?
Ama: Not safe to let go of control.
Nick: Perfect. And zero to ten, how strong is that feeling?
Ama: Ten.
Nick: Control. Perfect. Now, just out of curiosity, that feeling of losing control, is it possible, and I'm just taking a guess here, is it possible that the COVID situation or you catching COVID, or experiencing COVID, did it highlight that fear of losing control?
Ama: Absolutely. Yeah.
Nick: Okay, perfect. Now I'm going to ask you a probing question. You just let me know what the first thing is that pops in your head, and we're going to do a little bit of a belief tree work here.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: So, it's not safe to let go of control because if I do, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Without analyzing it, without thinking about it, the very first thing that pops in to your head.
Ama: The word collapse pops up in my head.
Nick: Collapse. Perfect. So the world might collapse?
Ama: My world.
Nick: My world will collapse? And zero to ten, how strong is that feeling? My world will collapse.
Ama: Nine.
Nick: 9. Perfect. And, my world is going to collapse. I feel that way because... The very first thing that pops in your head.
Ama: Because I'm unworthy.
Nick: Perfect. So there's an unworthy feeling there.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Excellent. And zero to ten, how strong is that unworthy feeling?
Ama: A nine.
Nick: Nine? Perfect. And that unworthy feeling. I feel that way because...
Ama: I've been experiencing... Well, it's my perspective, I've been experiencing it all my life.
Nick: Perfect. So circumstances are validating that you're unworthy?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Perfect. So do you believe in law of attraction?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Do you believe that our outer reality is a reflection of our inner state of being?
Ama: Yeah, absolutely.
Nick: Perfect. So what we experience externally is a reflection of what we're practicing emotionally. So the fact that your experiences are validating unworthiness, are they validating that you're unworthy or are they validating that you've been practicing a vibration of unworthiness?
Ama: The latter.
Nick: Right. They're not saying that you're unworthy, they're saying that your vibration, that you're practicing, is unworthy.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Do you believe in source energy?
Ama: Yeah. Absolutely.
Nick: Do you believe that source is infinitely intelligent?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Do you believe that source is unconditionally loving?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Would source co-create a human being, and the human being that I'm talking about is you, would source co-create a human being, being infinite intelligent, and unconditionally loving, would it create a human being that is unworthy?
Ama: No.
Nick: Absolutely not. Agreed?
Ama: Yeah. I agree.
Nick: So this belief that I am unworthy, now that we know that source would never create an unworthy human being, does that belief make sense?
Ama: No.
Nick: Can you take a second and acknowledge that belief that I am unworthy doesn't make sense. Can you feel that?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Good. That unworthy feeling, is it still a nine or has it shifted a little bit?
Ama: It shifted.
Nick: Yeah. What number would you give it now?
Ama: crosstalk to six, seven.
Nick: Six? Six. Perfect. Let's go with six. And that unworthy feeling. I still feel like I'm unworthy because...
Ama: That's my perspective.
Nick: Okay, perfect. That's my perspective. Now my perspective is that you are worthy.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: What do you think your inner being's perspective is?
Ama: That I'm worthy.
Nick: What about your friend's perspective?
Ama: That I'm worthy.
Nick: Perfect. So all circumstances are neutral. We get to define the meaning of circumstance.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: So that also means that you to define how you perceive yourself. Does it feel like it's unsafe to decide that you are worthy?
Ama: I think it's not that it's the feeling of not feeling safe, but also that I have this nagging... because I can keep myself up. I can bring myself to feeling happy and experiencing joy and fun. And then, just little thing happens, and then I have this... I call it my barking dog. And it goes like, "See, see, you're not worthy. See what happens. I don't like you." And then, I know because I read the first chapters of your book, and then I literally feel myself drop into that. And then that feeling of dropping into that... And while I know that I can practice good feeling thoughts, but then that barking, barking dog keeps on going, and it feels like he always wins.
Nick: Perfect. So let's take our power back over that barking dog. How does that sound?
Ama: Great. I'd love to.
Nick: Perfect. Perfect. So that's what we're going to do. I want to quickly tell a quick story and share an example. Do you know who the actor is, The Rock? The big, muscle-y actor?
Ama: No.
Nick: Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson?
Ama: No.
Nick: Okay. Can you think of somebody who you believe would be super confident?
Ama: In being a strong man?
Nick: Yeah. Think of anybody, a famous person that you can think of that is a very confident person who comes to mind.
Ama: Vin Diesel.
Nick: Perfect. Vin Diesel. So if somebody came up to Vin Diesel and said, "Vin Diesel, you suck." Do you think Vin Diesel would drop into being... feeling very low self-esteem and not good enough? Or do you think Vin Diesel would be like, "What are you talking about?" And just brush it off and go on?
Ama: That.
Nick: He would brush it off and go on, right?
Ama: For sure.
Nick: Now, if you go to somebody else who's got very low self worth, very feeling not good enough, and very low confidence, and you go up to that person and say, "You suck," then that feels very heavy for them. They're going to be very triggered by that.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Right?
Ama: Yeah. Right.
Nick: So what's the difference between those two individuals? The difference is that when you already have that emotional baggage within you, it's easy to get triggered into it.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: But when you don't, then it's very hard to get triggered into it. So the fact that, and you called it your barking dog, I love that, the fact that your barking dog can trigger you into certain negative emotions, it can only do that because you're already believing those in some way for yourself. And once we really get you to stop buying into these false perspectives, because they are false, then your barking dog will no longer have power over you.
Ama: Okay. Yeah. The barking dog isn't mine. I stole it from Sonia Choquette, so then...
Nick: That's okay. Do you want to give your barking dog a name? Do you call it Fido or anything?
Ama: No, because I've been meditating on it, and the name that popped up was Betsy. So it's a German shepherd named Betsy. I don't know. Yeah.
Nick: Okay. Betsy, the German shepherd.
Ama: Yes.
Nick: Okay. We'll call that your inner critic. So, when you're barking dog barks at you, what is the dominant negative emotion? Is it that unworthy feeling?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Perfect. Okay. Let's keep playing with this unworthy feeling. And would you say it's still a 6? If you really tune into it, what number would give it?
Ama: Now? A five.
Nick: Five, so it's down a little bit more.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Okay. Let's tap it. Do you know what tapping is? EFT?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Perfect. So just follow along with me and repeat after me. And when we tap, we're still going to do some belief tree work within the tapping. What I like about the tapping is it's going to get you out of your head a little bit it more, and it's going to allow things to flow up and come up for you a little bit easier.
Ama: Okay, great.
Nick: So just tap with me. I feel like I'm unworthy.
Ama: I feel like I'm unworthy.
Nick: I've got this unworthy feeling.
Ama: I've got this unworthy feeling.
Nick: It's been around for a while.
Ama: It's been around for a while.
Nick: It's fueling this barking dog.
Ama: Fueling this barking dog.
Nick: And I feel that feeling in my...
Ama: I feel that feeling in my chest.
Nick: I got that barking dog in my chest.
Ama: That barking dog in my chest.
Nick: It's telling me that I'm not worthy.
Ama: It's telling me that I'm not worthy.
Nick: Even though Nick knows that I'm worthy.
Ama: Even though that Nick knows I'm worthy.
Nick: Even though my inner being knows that I'm worthy.
Ama: Even though my inner being knows that I'm worthy.
Nick: Even though other people would tell me that I'm worthy.
Ama: Even though other people would tell me that I'm worthy.
Nick: I've still got that feeling in my chest.
Ama: Still got that feeling in my chest.
Nick: Still got that unworthy feeling.
Ama: Still got that unworthy feeling.
Nick: Still feel like I'm not worthy.
Ama: Still feel like I'm not worthy.
Nick: And I feel that way because...
Ama: And I feel that way because...
Nick: Very first thing that pops in your head.
Ama: Experience showed me.
Nick: Experience showed me.
Ama: Experience showed me.
Nick: Experience showed me.
Ama: Experience showed me.
Nick: It showed me.
Ama: It showed me.
Nick: So it must be true.
Ama: It must be true.
Nick: It's got to be evidence.
Ama: It's got to be evidence.
Nick: It's got to be evidence that I'm not worthy.
Ama: It's got to be evidence that I'm not worthy.
Nick: It's got to be evidence that I'm not worthy.
Ama: It's got to be evidence that I'm not worthy.
Nick: Or maybe it's not.
Ama: Or maybe it's not.
Nick: Maybe it's just the evidence of the vibration that I've been practicing.
Ama: Maybe it's just evidence of the vibration that I've been practicing.
Nick: Maybe it's just the evidence of the vibration I've been practicing.
Ama: Maybe it's the evidence of the vibration that I've been practicing.
Nick: And maybe because I'm practicing that vibration.
Ama: And maybe because I've been practicing that vibration.
Nick: It's harder for me to see the evidence that I am worthy.
Ama: It's harder for me to see the evidence that I am worthy.
Nick: Maybe I really am worthy.
Ama: Maybe I really am worthy.
Nick: Maybe I've always been worthy.
Ama: Maybe I've always been worthy.
Nick: Even if I can't see it.
Ama: Even if I can't see it.
Nick: I mean, I made it on this show with Nick.
Ama: I made it on this show with Nick, for sure.
Nick: That's evidence that I'm worthy.
Ama: That's evidence that I'm worthy.
Nick: I have a friend that told me about the 33 Aligned Program.
Ama: I have a friend that told me about the 33 Alignment Program.
Nick: That's evidence that I'm worthy.
Ama: That's evidence that I'm worthy.
Nick: So maybe I am worthy.
Ama: So maybe I am worthy.
Nick: Maybe I really am worthy.
Ama: Maybe I really am worthy.
Nick: Even if I couldn't see it.
Ama: Even if I couldn't see it.
Nick: Even if other people couldn't see it.
Ama: Even if other people couldn't see it.
Nick: So maybe it's time for me to let that go.
Ama: So maybe it's time for me to let that go.
Nick: Maybe it's time for me to stop listening to that barking dog.
Ama: Maybe it's time for me to stop listening to that barking dog.
Nick: Because it's just looking for attention.
Ama: Just because it's just looking for attention.
Nick: Okay. So keep tapping there. Take a nice deep breath. Does it feel like it's shifting a little bit?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Yeah? And we started off with a five. What number would you give it now?
Ama: Three.
Nick: Three. Perfect. Still got a little bit of that unworthy feeling left?
Ama: I got a little bit of that unworthy feeling left.
Nick: Can't completely let it go.
Ama: Can't completely let it go.
Nick: Can't completely let that go.
Ama: Can't completely let that go.
Nick: Don't want to completely let that go.
Ama: Don't want to completely let that go.
Nick: Because if I do.
Ama: Because if I do... I realize that I've been practicing that for too long.
Nick: I've been practicing it for too long.
Ama: I've been practicing it for too long. It's...
Nick: And how... Go ahead.
Ama: It's part of my life. It's part of... It feels like part of my being.
Nick: It has been.
Ama: It has been. It has.
Nick: But it doesn't have to be.
Ama: It doesn't have to be.
Nick: Because with every change in belief...
Ama: With every change in belief...
Nick: With every change in perspective...
Ama: With every change in perspective...
Nick: We become a new person.
Ama: We become a new person.
Nick: With a new vibration.
Ama: With a new vibration.
Nick: Changing reality is that easy.
Ama: Changing reality is that easy.
Nick: And the more that I let go of these heavy emotions...
Ama: And the more I let go with these heavy emotions...
Nick: The better I'm going to feel.
Ama: The better I'm going to feel.
Nick: And the more I get to experience what I want.
Ama: And the more I get to experience what I want.
Nick: How exciting would it feel to experience a reality without that unworthy feeling? How would that feel? Would that be exciting?
Ama: A ten. Me annoying everybody with that feeling, for sure.
Nick: Good. So can you give yourself permission to completely let that go?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: I don't need it anymore.
Ama: I don't need it anymore.
Nick: I don't need it anymore.
Ama: I don't need it anymore.
Nick: I've expanded beyond that.
Ama: I've expanded beyond that.
Nick: It's taught me what I needed to learn.
Ama: It's taught me what I needed to learn.
Nick: And I can recognize that I am worthy.
Ama: I can recognize that I'm worthy.
Nick: I've always been worthy.
Ama: I've always been worthy.
Nick: And I've always been good enough.
Ama: And I've always been good enough.
Nick: Take a deep breath. How do you... Still a three or has it gone down a little bit more?
Ama: It's gone down.
Nick: Good. Feels mostly gone now?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Good. Okay, take a break from the tapping. So how do you feel? Do you feel a little bit lighter?
Ama: Yeah, for sure. Definitely.
Nick: Good.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Good. Okay. I'd like to try playing with that fatigue a little bit. So that fatigue that you've been feeling, can you feel the energy of it as an energy in your body?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And zero to ten, how strong does is that feeling of fatigue?
Ama: Nine.
Nick: Nine. Perfect. Okay. Now COVID aside, let's pretend COVID isn't even there, and that it's not even a thing, that it doesn't exist.
Ama: Okay.
Nick: If you relax and drop into your body.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And you ask yourself, that feeling of fatigue, what's the first thing that pops in your head, even if it doesn't make any sense? What's the first thing that pops in your head when I say, "I feel that way because... "
Ama: It gives me time to think.
Nick: Gives me time to think. Does it give you time to slow down?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And does slowing down feel good for you?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Good. Is there a feeling that it's not safe to slow down or I shouldn't slow down?
Ama: Yeah, because then I get into my head, and then I get to listen.
Nick: Okay. So let's play with that. So I said, it's not safe to slow down, right?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Zero to ten, how strong is that feeling?
Ama: Ten.
Nick: Ten. And you said it's not safe to slow down because if I do, then I have to listen to myself?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: How did you word that, exactly?
Ama: Excuse me?
Nick: How did you word that, exactly? What did you say, exactly, when you said it's not safe to slow down?
Ama: Because now I realize that, or I feel that, when I keep myself being busy, I don't have to think about myself. I don't have to feel myself.
Nick: So I don't have to feel. And I love that you said that because this is such a big thing for so many people. And remember at the start I talked about the spiritual undertone of COVID was about slowing down?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Right? So as humans, we are here to evolve. We are here to grow. We are here to expand. A lot of people talk about this ascension from third density to 5D.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Right? And for us to make that transition, we need to raise our vibration. And the way we raise our vibration in a more permanent way is by allowing these emotions to surface so that they can be released. And a lot of people listening need to hear this because a lot of people are keeping themselves busy in the exact same way you're talking about, to avoid feeling what's present inside of them.
But feeling what's what's present inside of us is so important because emotions are our guidance system. They're there to tell us, "Hey, you're believing that you're not good enough and that's not true." "Hey, you are believing that you're unworthy and that's not true." And it's only by slowing down and acknowledging these emotions, and looking at them and working through them, just in the way we are now, that's how we shift them. And that's how we work our way out of them, and that's how grow and expand. So, I don't have to feel. Do you feel like it's not safe to feel?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Yeah? And zero to ten, how strong is that feeling?
Ama: Well, nine to ten, again.
Nick: Nine. Perfect. You're doing such a good job. I'm so proud of you.
Ama: Thank you.
Nick: And when you slow down to feel, is there one specific emotion that feels like it wants to come to the surface?
Ama: Yeah. The feeling of, again, not being good enough.
Nick: Not good enough. Perfect. So we just played with that unworthy feeling, right?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Let's play with that not good enough, which is very similar to the unworthy. Right? They both go hand in hand.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Do you want to see if we can get rid of that not good enough feeling for you, once and for all?
Ama: Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
Nick: Perfect. So that not good enough feeling, zero to ten, how strong would you say it is?
Ama: Nine to ten. Really, way strong.
Nick: Perfect. And that's the most common one that I see in most people, so that's no surprise. And that not good enough feeling, I feel that way because...
Ama: I don't know where to begin. I have had so many... Well, I've had so many experiences. Well, and these are, of course, my perspectives, that I wasn't good enough. I told my husband this morning that, because I was reading your book, that I remember myself as a child having a mental notebook in my head because I was being bullied at school for six years, and my mother... When I came home, my mother is caring but not loving. Do you know what I mean? She...
Nick: Yes.
Ama: She does all the basics, but she has never, never, ever told me that she loves me, or she loves my sisters.
Nick: For her, it wasn't safe to express love.
Ama: I know.
Nick: It wasn't safe to be vulnerable. Yeah, I know.
Ama: I know. Yeah.
Nick: Yeah.
Ama: And so when I... For example, when I came home and being hit again or being pushed in... well, whatever I did, and then I came home, of course crying. And then my mom would say, "Well, I guess you deserved that," or, "Well, maybe you shouldn't behave like the way you do." So I remember, first I always made notes. "When I grow up, when I'm a mom, I will never do this to my children." And in the present time, then, I would go like, "Okay, if I say that, they will respond like that, so tomorrow I won't say that in order for not having being bullied," or so. You know what I mean?
Nick: Totally.
Ama: So my head is full with those notes.
Nick: Yeah. And what happens is, as a child, where most of this programming comes from, we have one experience where we say, "Oh, this means that I am not good enough." And then we hold onto that feeling for the rest of our lives. So you responded crosstalk.
Ama: Where were you when I five or six? inaudible.
Nick: All right. You responded really well to the tapping a few minutes ago. Let's do that again...
Ama: Okay.
Nick: ... because I like how you responded to that. So I've got this not good enough feeling.
Ama: I've got this not good enough feeling.
Nick: It's been around for a long time.
Ama: Been around for a long time.
Nick: Longer than I can remember.
Ama: Longer than I can remember.
Nick: It's a really old feeling.
Ama: It's a really old feeling.
Nick: And I'm still buying into it.
Ama: And I'm still buying into it.
Nick: This old feeling that I'm not good enough.
Ama: This old feeling that I'm not good enough.
Nick: At one point, I decided I'm not good enough.
Ama: At one point, I decided that I wasn't good enough.
Nick: And it stuck.
Ama: It stuck.
Nick: Maybe it's because I was bullied.
Ama: Maybe because it's... Maybe because it's... I've been bullied.
Nick: Maybe it's because things my mom said.
Ama: Maybe it's because things my mom said.
Nick: Maybe it's something completely different.
Ama: Maybe it's something completely different.
Nick: And I bought into it.
Ama: And I bought into it.
Nick: Even though it's not true.
Ama: Even though it's not true.
Nick: And maybe I can give myself permission to start to let that go.
Ama: Maybe I can give myself permission to let that go.
Nick: Because my inner being knows that I'm good enough.
Ama: Because my inner being knows that I'm good enough.
Nick: And I bet your husband says you're good enough.
Ama: My husband says I'm good enough.
Nick: I bet you your kids say you're good enough.
Ama: They say I'm good enough.
Nick: I know you're good enough.
Ama: Nick knows I'm good enough.
Nick: Your friends probably say you're good enough.
Ama: My friends say I'm good enough.
Nick: But I don't see it.
Ama: I don't see it.
Nick: I don't see it.
Ama: I don't see it.
Nick: Still holding on that feeling.
Ama: Still holding onto that feeling.
Nick: But maybe I can give my permission to let it go.
Ama: Maybe I can give myself permission to let that go.
Nick: Maybe it's finally time to let that go.
Ama: Maybe it's finally time to let that go.
Nick: Because those people who bullied me...
Ama: Because those people who believe me...
Nick: Who bullied me.
Ama: Oh, who bullied me?
Nick: Yeah. They were just insecure.
Ama: They were just insecure.
Nick: They were just looking for somebody to pick on.
Ama: They were just looking for someone to pick on.
Nick: And it has nothing to do with not being good enough.
Ama: It has nothing to do with not being good enough.
Nick: And my mom's inability to be vulnerable with me...
Ama: And my mom's inability to be vulnerable with me...
Nick: Has nothing to do with you being not good enough.
Ama: Has nothing to do with me not being good enough.
Nick: Do you see how it's their programming and not yours?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And it has nothing to do with you.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And do you think that source, who is unconditionally loving, would ever co-create a human being that's not good enough? No.
Ama: No.
Nick: So maybe I am good enough.
Ama: Maybe I am good enough.
Nick: Maybe I really am good enough.
Ama: Maybe I am really good enough.
Nick: Maybe I've always been good enough.
Ama: Maybe I've always been good enough.
Nick: Even if I can't see it.
Ama: Even if I can't see it.
Nick: Even if Mom didn't see it.
Ama: Even if Mom didn't see it.
Nick: Even if those bullies didn't see it.
Ama: Even if those bullies didn't see it.
Nick: Maybe it's time to give myself permission to let that go.
Ama: Maybe it's time to give myself permission to let that go.
Nick: That old feeling that I'm not good enough.
Ama: That old feeling that I'm not good enough.
Nick: Good. Take a deep breath. Good. So is that feeling still a ten or has it shifted a little bit?
Ama: It shifted a lot.
Nick: Good. What number would you give it now?
Ama: A three or a two.
Nick: Excellent. Good. Do you feel a lot lighter?
Ama: Yeah. Much.
Nick: Good. We're going to do one last thing.
Ama: Okay.
Nick: Could you do me a favor and pretend that that six year old you is sitting in front of you?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And when you look at her, how does she feel? Does she look sad? Does she look like she feels not good enough? How does she feel?
Ama: On the outside she looks happy. Not on the inside.
Nick: And how does she feel on the inside?
Ama: Insecure.
Nick: Insecure. Okay. Can you picture yourself giving her a hug?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And can you see how energetically she's tuning into you? How energetically she's tuning into the grownup version of herself? And seeing how amazing of a woman you've become? And how you've got beautiful kids, and you live in this beautiful home, and that you're such a loving and caring person? Can you see how that six year old is seeing how everything turned out perfectly for her?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And can you send her some love? And let her know how much you love her?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And let her know how much you support her? And all the ways that her mother isn't there for her? Let her know that you're there for her in those ways.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Take another nice deep breath in. You're doing really good. And does she feel much lighter now?
Ama: Yeah. She does.
Nick: Can you tell that she feels more confident now?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: And if you had one last thing that you wanted to tell her that she needs to hear, can you go ahead and let her know that? Share with her whatever you want to share with her in your mind?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Awesome. You did a great job.
Ama: Thank you.
Nick: The last 30 minutes that we've just spent together, or close to 40 minutes now, is evidence that you are absolutely good enough. The fact that you have the courage to sit with me and do this inner work for yourself, and work on yourself the way you're working on yourself, is evidence that you're good enough.
Ama: Oh, thank you so much, Nick.
Nick: Can you give yourself permission to feel that?
Ama: Yeah. Absolutely.
Nick: Awesome. Good. And how do you feel now?
Ama: Now I could annoy everyone with my feeling.
Nick: Good.
Ama: Yeah, but really.
Nick: Good.
Ama: Yeah, I feel so much lighter now.
Nick: Now, that energy of fatigue that we talked about earlier, it was a nine?
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: Does that energy of fatigue feel a little bit different now? Does it feel safer to slow down?
Ama: Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. It's still there, but it's... It has a coat of love over it.
Nick: Perfect.
Ama: crosstalk love.
Nick: So what I want you to do now, here's your homework.
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: For the next seven to 14 days, I want you to honor the fatigue. I want you to love the fatigue. I want you to give yourself permission to not push against it.
Ama: Okay.
Nick: And to embrace it and to allow yourself to slow down into the fatigue.
Ama: Okay. I will.
Nick: And you'll send me an update in the next week or two, let me know how you're making out?
Ama: I will. I will do. Yeah, for sure.
Nick: Perfect. Any final questions? Any final words before we wrap things up?
Ama: No, I just want to thank you for giving me a totally different perspective. And even what you said about the fatigue, to look at it in a different way. It really makes sense.
Nick: Yeah. My inner being is... It's a pretty smart cookie.
Ama: Yeah. It is.
Nick: And if that barking dog tries to pop its head back out, which it probably will try...
Ama: Yeah.
Nick: ... you're allowed to say, "Nope, go back to your corner. I'm going to put you on a leash. I'm going to put you in a cage. Go away, I'm not listening to you anymore, because I am good enough."
Ama: Okay.
Nick: Perfect. Fantastic work today, Ama. Thank you so much for playing with me.
Ama: Thank you so much. Thank you.
Nick: So that concludes today's episode of Change Your Reality. If you'd like to apply to be a guest on the show or join the membership community, where we do this work every week for three hours with our members, you can find all the details on the website at nickbreau.com. Bye for now.
That's it for today's episode of Change Your Reality. If you'd like to apply to be a guest on the show, to join our membership community, or to be trained as a facilitator, you can find all the details on the website at nickbreau.com.
I was guided to this video today. I was lying on the carpet filled with grief and total knowledge that I wasn’t good enough and that I had failed and that everyone was treating me so badly. This video has helped to lift me out of it. I had such similar responses to Ama and she was so brave to do this. I managed to get up off the carpet and start to do some yoga stretching and now I feel lighter. I realise now that other people are following their own conditioning, that its not about me. I also see that its the vibration of not worthy that is still coming up and was triggered by events from yesterday. This has helped me to see it through a new lens today.
I admire and appreciate so much your competent, calm and secure guidance for your Coachees through these emotional waves! I felt touched to tears! In short terms: I love what you do! Thank you, dear Nick!
LOVED this!! Thank you so much!!