Ep. 001: Five Questions with Lea

Nick: All right. Welcome to this episode of Change Your reality. I'm your host, Nick Breau. And today, we are doing a segment of five questions where we bring one of our audience members in for a Q&A style conversation based on five questions they've prepared. And today we're talking with Lea in Germany.
Welcome Lea. I believe Lea is a professional musician, and I think you can tell based on the background in her video. Welcome Lea, great to have you on the show.

Lea: Thanks Nick. It's always good to be with you.

Nick: Yeah. So you've been a musician for a while. Tell us a little bit about what kind of musical work you do?

Lea: Well, I'm a singer songwriter by trade. And actually, when I first discovered your work in 2020, like January of 2020, you and I had one of, I think, your last individual talks that you were giving before you... I don't know exactly what your deal was. But I was really grateful for the opportunity to speak directly with you. And I shared that one of my intentions was to become a nationally touring musician. But that one of the things I am aware that I've set up to complicate that for myself was my family. I didn't want to be on tour all the time because I have small kids and that's my excuse. And so I couldn't figure out a way to have it all. And so we talked through that and then 2020 happened, right? The pandemic happened and it was the case in point of turning contrast into fertilizer for something bigger and better than we could have ever imagined. So first there was the breakdown, the disappointment of having all my gigs canceled.

Nick: Yeah. COVID was not good for musicians.

Lea: Well, that's just the thing. Is, it shut everything down and it made it so I couldn't go out and do the things I was going to that I thought I was going to do. So a couple of things happened. First of all, I thought about something that had said at some point, and I've heard in other places. That in every circumstance, there are always those people who thrive. And I knew that you would thrive because your business was online. And I was like, Plexiglass makers are going to thrive and mask makers are going to thrive. There's no good reason that I shouldn't. And I talked to this friend and in the course of the conversation, I realized some limiting beliefs I had around musicians making money. And it was just like this, that is complete beep and that does not have to be my story. And I just left it at that.
And I started taking these daily walks. And the whole intention of the walks was to be in a good mindset for myself so I could be in a good mindset for my family. And I was like, the world is ending. The world is ending. So I'm just going to do what I want to do. I'm not going to worry about whether or not I'm going to become a nationally touring anything because the world is ending. And it was like this permission slip to totally let go. And I just made the music I wanted to make. And I shared it online because it felt good to me. And it just wound up going, I mean, viral is maybe the next step, but I am now a nationally touring artist in the United States. My music has just permeated into this one specific community that has pockets all over the states and in the UK. Not as much in Germany yet. But it just went in a way I never could imagine, never could have scripted, because the conditions have changed. So it's just like-

Nick: And then I love how that's such a perfect example on how you just let go. It wasn't even in an intentional letting go. It was like, "Oh, COVID's here. Nothing I can do. I'm just going to let it go."

Lea: Exactly.

Nick: And it was exactly what you needed to release the resistance to allowing that experience in.

Lea: Yep. And that went beautifully up until 2021 when I started thinking, "Oh crap, now everything's been going to go back in person. So now what?"
It was like I was playing the F happy game all year, and then kind of totally slipped off the bandwagon. And I started worrying and wondering. And I had the weirdest... 2021 was, emotionally, one of the hardest years I've ever had because I went back into that mindset I had been in before of, this has to look like this and I have to have this many that. And oh, by the way, in 2020, I made more money than I've ever made in my entire life. So that whole idea that musicians had it rough in 2020, some did. And I respect that. And a lot of my friends did. Wasn't my experience. So 2021 a drag through the dirt. This year, I got back into the collective. I'm just going to give you credit for everything good that happens, Nick.

Nick: I'll take it. We got lots of good listeners here. But you're doing the work. So there's some people who join the collective, and they just expect everything to happen magically just because they join the collective. And really, you can join a community, but unless you engage with that community and interact with that community and show up for the calls and ask the questions, like you're doing here today, then the benefit's going to be marginal compared to what's possible. So pat yourself on the back for that.

Lea: You're absolutely right. You're right. And I appreciate you as a teacher, the way you synthesize the information. So thank you also. There's my pat.
So like a couple of days ago, actually, I had this shift. It was February 22nd, 2022. I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to that being the date, but some things really clicked for me and I started making some different choices. And the following day, I got an announcement from one of the people on my mailing list. Like, "Hey, I'm on your Patreon. I support you regularly anyway, but I just wanted to boost you. Here's a thousand bucks just for being awesome." I will take a thousand bucks for being awesome. Thank you very much. So-

Nick: You can put that out on your resume. It was one of your career highlights. Being awesome is one of your skills.

Lea: Yeah, this is not the first time that's been said. There's a guy who said that I'm awesome at being awesome or something. But that's everybody's calling, right? That's what we're here to do.

Nick: Yeah, I get paid for being awesome.

Lea: You know?

Nick: Best way to make money.

Lea: Exactly. For having a great time. So the questions. Now, we're up to the questions, Nick. The first question I want to ask you is to just share some insight on... I've done it before. So I know I can do it, but I would love to hear you talk about letting go without giving up. Like you said, what I did before was unintentional and I want to be intentional about it now because I know the power of it. And I'm still searching for the exact vibration of maintaining the excitement for what I want and what I intend to experience, but without being attached to it.

Nick: Yeah. And that brings me back to my very first conversation with Abraham Hicks, which was in Cancun, which I think was in like 2016 or 2017. And it was a very similar question, where I asked the question, why is it that all of my big desires always show up when I give up on them? And the answer was, it's not that you gave up on the desires, you gave up on the efforting. So letting go foundationally is about understanding that anything we want, again as said by Abraham Hicks, is because of how we will believe we will feel in the having of those things. And I'm a firm believer in what I call organic unfolding. And what organic unfolding is, is that our inner beings, our inner guidance, source, whatever you want to call it, is always guiding us down our path of least resistance.
It's always guiding us to those things that we really want. And once you understand that those things we want are on their way, it's about being present in your physical reality, in your now moments, knowing that you get what you need on the path to getting what you want. And when you've got this attachment to an outcome, it's about reminding yourself, yes, my conscious mind perceives this as the ideal outcome that I'm reaching for. And this is what I need to achieve to feel this state that I'm really seeking. But in reality, if you can achieve that feeling state without the outcome, then you step into your power and you open up, you let go of that resistance of needing it. And that's what lets it in.
So for me, letting go of outcome and detachment is really about reminding myself that it just comes down to how I want to feel. And I make the feeling state the goal rather than the outcome I believe I need to achieve to reach the feeling state. Does that make sense?

Lea: Totally. Completely. And it actually segues into the next question. I've always wondered about being specific. They talk about get as specific with your goal as feels good or being general. Just, I guess, establishing the feeling state. So do you have a suggestion about which you would suggest?

Nick: I would say, the more specific you get, the more momentum it builds. So that's a good thing. Until specific starts to create wobble, starts to create resistance. So if you're starting to get really, really specific, but then you feel fear coming up or unworthiness coming up or something that doesn't feel so good, that's when you want to back off a little bit. But when you get specific, use the specificity as what's called a visualization tool or tool to fine tune how delicious that desire feels. So it's not about getting specific to say it needs to look exactly like this. It's about getting more specific because it builds more good feeling states. It builds more excitement. So you being an artist saying things like, "Ooh, I would love to play in front of a giant crowd of thousands and thousands and thousands of people." And then if you say, "Ooh, I would love to be the headliner." Ooh, there's a bit more excitement. "Ooh, I would love to be able to play all of my favorite songs." Ooh, a little bit more excitement.
So the more you add to the dream or the desire or the vision of it, the more excitement builds. And that's really the point or the purpose of getting more specific. But again, our inner being, if we want to go back to the concept of organic unfolding, you've got your vision of what this desire looks like. But because our inner being knows all, sees all, everything happens here and now, it knows the possible version of that desire. And part of this unfolding on this path of least resistance is getting you up to speed with that desire. So some people are like, "Ooh, I want this desire and I want it now. Why is it not here now? It's got to be here now."
And one of the reasons it's not here now is because you're not up to speed with the fullness of how good that desire could really be.
And the example that comes to mind for me is relationships. Because in relationships, a lot of people get caught up on manifesting a very specific person. And your inner being is sitting there with somebody even more magical than you could even perceive for that person. But when you lock in and you say, "No, it's got to be that person." Then you're vibrationally not in a place where you're in the receptive mode to let the even greater version of that desire in.

Lea: That makes perfect sense to me. And it also echoes with the idea of choosing for the joy of it and enjoying the idea and being open to whatever outcome comes. That makes perfect sense.
Well, a Facebook post popped up today from a friend of mine, she's like stratospheric. Her music is really taking off. People are feeling what she's doing on really, a huge level, like in the folk community. It's really wonderful what's happening for her. And I know her and I love that I know her as a person. And so any temptation to feel whatever about it is entirely vanished because I love her and I like her as a person. But there are times and people and some celebrities and other things where this feeling of, I guess, jealousy is the only thing to call it, comparison. Do you have any insights on when jealousy and comparison things come up, how would you suggest addressing that?

Nick: Yeah, so the emotion of jealousy is typically the byproduct of believing that somebody has something that you can't. And everybody on this planet, if you look at things from that spiritual vantage point, everybody's on a level vantage playing field. Everybody has access to all vibrations. We are all powerful creators. So anything that anybody else has access to, you have access to as well. If you truly understand how the law of attraction works and how reality works and this simulation that is physical reality, it's about understanding that we are experiencing what is a reflection to the thoughts we think the emotions we feel and where we put our focus.
So when somebody has something that you desire and you don't see the path to that same experience, AKA, oftentimes jealousy, I think it's about taking a step back and saying, okay, if that person can achieve that experience, then that must mean it's available for me too. And then I think it's about stepping back and saying, okay, there's nothing I need to do other than be present with what's going on in front of me, because our beings don't get us excited about things that we can't have. So if you're excited about it, that means from an organic unfolding vantage point, it's already on your path. The question is, are you allowing yourself to go down that path? Are you practicing that resistance of how do I get there? How do I get there? How do I get there? Or are you fully present with your current unfolding in your physical reality, looking at what your reality's presenting to you? Because our reality again, is always giving us what we need on the path to what we want.

Lea: So this raises an old paradigm, new paradigm question for me. So, some people who have achieved, or are wherever they are in their experience, would say that they got there through hard work. If there was any newbie that came to me and was like, I want to instantly know how to play the guitar or whatever. I would explain to them how long I've been with the instrument. And that in the beginning, I spent eight hours a day. Effort and work are words that kind of feel like resistance. But the fact is, I wanted to do it. I would not have changed the thing. My fingers would bleed. And it was awesome. And I was like, this is my banner of awesomeness that my fingers are bleeding because I love this instrument. And yet there was work, there was pain associated.

Nick: It's all about the energy behind the effort. The energy being practiced behind the work. So for example, and I use this example a lot on the collective. If I want to start a business and I've got five business opportunities that I could choose from A, B, C, D E. If I'm at the vibration of excitement and success and enthusiasm, it doesn't matter which of those businesses I choose, the end results going to be success. If I'm in the vibration and the energy of struggle and effort and things never work out for me, again, even if it's the exact same businesses, doesn't matter which one I choose, the outcome is going to be failure.
So when it comes to people who are highly successful, who draw on the fact that it was effort, effort doesn't guarantee success. I can guarantee you, there's more people who are efforting and failing than efforting and succeeding. And the factor that defines the failure or the success is the energy that you're practicing behind what you're doing. So somebody who's very successful and says it's because of all my hard work. No, it's not because of all the hard work, it might have been part of the path. But really the success came from the mindset you were practicing and the belief in your hard work.

Lea: That's really good. Yeah.
So that would suggest that you could accomplish the same thing with less effort if you believed in it? I'm trying to like-

Nick: So here's the thing about effort. And it's like, how do you even define effort? So for me, doing this conversation with you, this is fun. This is exciting. I love talking about this stuff with everybody on this planet. Now you ask somebody else to come and do an interview like this, they would be panicky. They would freeze up. They would say, "Oh, that's such hard work. I could never do that."
So even the idea of effort is contextual based on your level of excitement. Something that is extremely exciting, you could do all day. And it won't feel like effort, even though it's a lot of maybe physical work, whereas somebody else who is not excited about that thing would feel like it's the most efforting thing on the planet.

Lea: That makes sense. I got like Olympians in my head, like that whole thing. So yeah, that makes sense.

Nick: Yeah. And that's why excitement is so important. And that's why Beshar teaches this formula of highest excitement, where in any given moment, you just follow your excitement, you follow your passion. And when you started this call and talked about your experience when COVID hit, and you just said, "Ah, there's nothing I can do. I'm just going to go play the music I want to play and have fun and follow my excitement," which is what you did. And then look, it got you that national exposure you were chasing for, I don't know how long.

Lea: Yeah, yeah. Or that I told myself was unattainable under the circumstances. And then the circumstances shifted. It was crazy. Beautiful. Amazing.
So another thing I want to ask you about is being unconditional. I know we talked about, and it's maybe kind of an echo of my first question, but it feels so important that I'd love to hear you just talk a little bit of about unconditional joy. I'm actually pretty good at not letting people get under my skin, but circumstances sometimes can mess up my groove. You got any tips on that?

Nick: Yeah. And it's tough for everyone. We are programmed as humans from almost the day that we're born to be conditional beings. We set all these standards, you need to do this, you need to do that. We live in a very conditional society. So when it comes to being unconditional and living unconditionally, somebody who's starting out, the first thing I teach is, the first thing you want to do to reclaim your power is start playing the F it happy game, the fuck it happy game. Because emotionally, if you're always giving your power away to circumstances over the way you feel, then you can never consistently feel good because nobody's ever going to be able to control their circumstances. So one of the first things people need to learn when they do this work is stop letting circumstances dictate how I feel.
And that's what that game that you can find out more about on my YouTube channel, the fuck it happy game or F it happy game. And I know you've already been practicing that and you know that. And that's a skill and a muscle that gets developed over time. Now, somebody who's been doing that for a while and are a little bit more of an advanced awareness is understanding, and I believe Wayne Dyer was one of the first people who've said this. It's that things don't happen to you, everything is happening for you.
And this goes back to what I said earlier on the call, which is you get what you need on the path to getting what you want. So those things that happen to us, that line up for us, that are contrasting that we don't prefer, that might trigger us. They're there to show us where we're being vibrationally disaligned. They're showing us where we are giving our power away to. And those are the things that we need to adjust within ourselves to line up, to experience more of the things that we want. So I've come to a place where I've learned to, and it's taken practice, but to love and appreciate the contrast. Love and appreciate those things that aren't so great because I know that those things are there to up level me to take me to a brand new place.

Lea: You actually talked about that, it was either last week or the week before, on the collective. And that was really helpful. And I've been processing it over time. And just maybe a couple of days to the point where I could identify this specific thought pattern that I've been practicing and thank it for being present. And ask it, what do you want from me? What is the gift that you're bringing me here so that we can finish this conversation? Because enough is enough.

Nick: One of the quickest ways to work through contrast is learning. And again, when I say contrast, I mean, unwanted circumstances in our lives. Is to practice appreciating it and practice loving it. And the way you do that is by identifying and seeking the positive, the potentiality that exists in that experience.

Lea: And do you see that as the positive experience of getting past it? Kind of like the walking through it. Ah, okay. Now I get it.

Nick: Yeah. Kind of like what can this circumstance bring me? So remember, all circumstances are neutral. Inherently, circumstance has no meaning. So we as humans assign meaning to circumstance. So if a contrasting circumstance comes in, and I can choose one or two. Well, I can choose one of a million different meanings. But one meaning that some people will go with is, "Oh, not this again. Why does this keep showing up in my life? I'm such a victim. This is never going to go away. I'm hopeless."
That's one meaning that person can assign to this circumstance. Another meaning could be, "Oh, wow. This again. Okay. What is this trying to show me at me? If this keeps coming back, there has to be something that this is trying to show me that I'm practicing for my evolution to move beyond this. And once I move beyond this, wow, this could be possible. And that could be possible. And I'll have such good awareness."
So the difference between somebody who is always evolving and somebody who's always stuck in the mud is the perspectives they choose about their contrast.

Lea: Yeah. I've experienced that. I've experienced that firsthand. And there are just a couple of places where I need to spread it over onto. For whatever reason I've been resistant. You know what occurred to me this morning was that, to some extent, my longing, this idea that I long for fame and fortune of a certain level, it's part of my identity. I've been in that mindset since... I started playing when I was 13, since 30 years ago. I've just been carrying around with me this idea that I will be happy when that happens. Like in that-

Nick: Very, very common. Yeah. And what you just stated reminds me a lot of the coaching industry too. In the online world where people want to be influencers and they want to impact millions of people and they want all these followers. And something I remind coaches and tell a lot of the coaches in my facilitator program is focus on the people who are showing up in your audience. Focus on the people who are coming to you. Appreciate those people who are coming to you. Because there's a big difference vibrationally in being in the vibration of appreciating what's there, versus of course, focusing on what's not there. And the more you can love and appreciate those audience members and those mailing list people and those people who are commenting on your music. The more you can love and appreciate those, the more attention you give to that, the more of it's going to come into your experience.

Lea: That's really, really what I needed to hear right now. And that's what I need to practice right now. Sometimes, I feel like my thoughts are a little bit like a puppy. And having games like the F it happy game, very helpful to help train the puppy. I'm wondering for you, I'm aware that all human persons are evolving, becoming. I know you mentioned you're practicing the organic unfolding. Do you still meditate every day? Do you take walks? Do you have a thing that you're practicing?

Nick: No, I don't. So meditation, a lot of teachers teach meditation every day. And the reason that teachers teach that is to silence that mind chatter. Because for most people, the mind chatter does potentially two things. One, if it's mostly negative mind chatter, like it is for most people like self-criticism, self-judgment, self-worry. Then of course it impacts your vibration and disconnects you from your alignment and your connection to your inner being.
The second is groundedness. So a lot of people are spending like 90, 95% of their time up here in their mental body. And when you're up here in your mental body all of the time, then you're not present in your fist physical reality. So anytime you're in anxiety, in worry, in fear, in over analysis, sitting on your phone, doing this, you're not grounded in your body. So energy's not running through you from the quantum into the physical, which is what you also want. So you're not grounded in your body. So that impacts your ability to be present in your reality.
So earlier I said, you get what you need on the path to getting what you want. Well, the what you need is being shown to you in your physical reality. So when you're not present in your now, when you're not present in your physical reality, you're missing so many intuitive nudges, you're missing so many cues. You're missing so much of what's being fed to you. Now, for me personally, I meditate once in a while. I don't feel like I need it as much. The way I operate is basically I get up and I follow my impulses. So for me, my first impulse is always to go downstairs and make a nice smoothie. And then it's about impulses and excitement.
So it's like, okay, inner guidance. What's first? What's my highest excitement in this moment? Oh, it's to go finish up a bunch of emails. I'll go do that. Oh, it's to go outside and out front and panel board. I'll go do that. So again, it's about living almost like animals do, because animals don't have that chatter mind. Animals are completely divinely guided. They just follow their impulses and their excitements. Birds here, they migrate south in the wintertime. They don't pull out their phone to check their calendar and to see when they're supposed to go south or to check the GPS, to see what direction to fly into. They just tune into their inner guidance and, "Oh, it's time to go. Oh, my impulse is to go that way." And they go exactly where they need to go. And by being too much in our mental body, as humans, we've disconnected from that.

Lea: You know what's really sweet is that before we got on this call, I was writing a song about pilgrimage. Somebody commissioned me to write a song about human and bird and any kind of pilgrimage, butterflies pilgrimage. Would you be cool with me singing you a short piece of it?

Nick: Go for it.

Lea: On my way. Oh, I'm on my way. Many miles I march or fly, nature's call to obey. If I roam or I stand still. I must follow spirits will. Ever on my way. I'm on my way.
So it's sweet to hear you echo that back.

Nick: Beautiful and awesomeness. Such a good way to finish today's call. Thank you so much for being here, Lea.

Lea: Thank you, Nick. I appreciate you.

Nick: If anybody would like to apply to be a guest on our show or join the membership community, just visit the website, nickbreau.com, and you can find all of the details there. Thanks again Lea. And bye for now.