Ep. 004: Five Questions with Ashna

Nick: All right. Welcome to Change Your Reality. I'm your host, Nick Breau, and today we're doing a segment called The Five Questions. This is where we bring in one of our audience members in for a Q&A style conversation based on five questions that they have prepared. Today, we are talking to Miss Ashna. How you doing today, Ashna?

Ashna: I'm really good, thank you.

Nick: Good. And you're somewhere in the United Kingdom, I believe?

Ashna: Yeah, in London.

Nick: Yeah. In London.

Ashna: Just outside of London.

Nick: Cool. And you're another one of our collective members, which we always love having on here with us. So, do you want to fill us in a little bit on your background? How long have you been studying the world of spirituality and personal development?

Ashna: I think it's been about four or five years, my going to this magical world. I had hit rock bottom in my life, and I just knew something had to change. I didn't know how to change it, and I just got into yoga and meditation, which was the start. And while I was on a retreat, someone said, "Here, read this book." And it was Eckhart's Power of Now. And for me, it was just the start of that journey; and it was jaw-dropping. I was reading it and just like, "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God." And it just kind of got... That was it. It just sort of lit that fire.

Nick: It sparked something. Yeah.

Ashna: It did. Yeah. And then I got into doing work on consciousness and the unconscious behaviors. And I started training with Ryan Pinnick as part of his SuperGenius, where I got a Certified Coach and loved it. Got more into Law of Attraction, and ended up in your Collective. And it just gets better and better.

Nick: It does, doesn't it, when that momentum starts to build. And it's funny how it all always takes that kind of... Not always, but oftentimes, the entry point to this whole world is that one big piece of contrast, that one life-shaking event that makes us go seeking answers.

Ashna: Yes.

Nick: And that journey, once we step onto that path, it never really seems to end. It just seems get deeper and deeper down into a rabbit hole, in a good way.

Ashna: Yeah, totally. And everything just appears at the right time. I knew I wanted something and the book appeared. I knew I wanted more and the teacher appeared. And it was just like-

Nick: Absolutely. Yeah. It's that-

Ashna: How feeling you're ready.

Nick: ... that famous quote, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

Ashna: Yep.

Nick: And it's funny, because I think the teacher is always appearing for everyone all the time, whether it's a physical, literal teacher, or some other form of teacher.

Ashna: Yeah.

Nick: And it's about having the awareness of understanding that the circumstances is here to show me something about me and my evolution; and most people aren't aware of that.

Ashna: Yeah. And recently, I've learned that sometimes my son is my teacher; because your children can teach you stuff. Right?

Nick: Absolutely.

Ashna: And that's been quite in there; eye-opening.

Nick: Absolutely. I hear you on that one. With a 10 and a 12-year old, I can absolutely relate to what you're saying there.

Ashna: Yeah.

Nick: Perfect. So, you've got some questions lined up?

Ashna: Yeah, I do. And sort of similar to that, so I was thinking back on my journey, and it's interesting you asked me about that; but what I was going to ask you was what advice would you give to someone at the start of their journey? And what should they expect? Because it's difficult to explain sometimes, especially when I'm coaching; but you have to be honest about it, I feel, because it's not always pleasant. So how would you summarize that?

Nick: Yeah. I think it's... The answer would be dependent on really what that person is looking for. Right? Because when we say starting on this journey, that can mean so many different things for so many people. One of the key things that I like to share is that success in this world, so the expansion, the learning to manifest, learning to be happy, it's not as complicated as people think it is. Under the spiritual umbrella, there's so much there. There's Reiki and energy work and there's the chakras and there's opening your third eye, and there's affirmations and there's thousands of different modalities. And what I see is people are often looking for the one thing and seeking the one thing that they believe is that magic button; and once they push it, then everything is going to be smooth sailing, and everything is going to show up in their lap, like a genie in a bottle.
And the truth is that this work really isn't complex work. You don't have to balance all your chakras and get them spinning in the right direction and open your third eye. And a lot of these things are fun to explore, but oftentimes, they're a distraction to the real work that needs to be done to really achieve the results that most people are looking for.
And what that work is, is just understanding that at a fundamental level, our reality always has been and always will be a reflection of what we're practicing in our attraction point, namely the emotions, the perspectives, the beliefs, and where we're putting our focus. And that's really where people need to go.
And I think even the first step into that is exploring emotions at a deeper level; letting people realize that negative emotions, even though they're heavy and uncomfortable, they're not something that you're powerless to. They're not something you're stuck with your entire life. They're not something that you even have to be afraid of, even though a lot of people are afraid to look at these things. And it's by looking at these things, and learning the tools to shift these things; that really, those are the things... That's what empowers us the most to live a better reality, both in the way we feel and in the realm of co-creation.

Ashna: That's great.

Nick: Does that make sense?

Ashna: It does. And then, just following on from that, when you are working with people, they want help and they want to do something different. And you start working with them and you're coaching them; but you come across people that are really stubborn or their ego is really stubborn. How do you cope with those traits and beliefs, and that when someone really is struggling to make that transformation; as a coach, what do you do with that? Because sometimes I find that triggering in myself, because I've still got work to do. And you are a Master Coach, so how do you deal with it when you come across that?

Nick: Yeah. What you're talking about is what I would call somebody who is just simply not in the receptivity mode, not in the receiving mode. And for me as a coach, I understand that if somebody's not in receptive mode, you cannot force somebody into the receptive mode. So, you can only help someone as much as they allow themselves to be helped. And even if somebody doesn't want the help, or is disallowing of the helper, or disallowing of that receptivity mode, that's still a valid exploration.
So I remember part of my journey was knowing how powerful all of these tools are, and really just wanting to teach everybody on this planet, "Look at these tools. Take these tools. It's going to change your life." But that's not everybody's journey. So I had to learn to okay with that fact that we're not all here to expand in the same way. People are here for different explorations and different themes, and that's okay.
Now, from that facilitator vantage point, when I used to do the one-on-one work, I would do a, I would call it a gift call or an exploration call, before enrolling them as a client, to make sure not only that I was a good fit for them and that they were a good fit for me. And very early on, I would say even within the first two to three minutes of having a conversation with that person, I could tell either through the words being said or energetically, that person's level of receptivity for doing this work; so their level of receptivity for wanting to look at their emotions, wanting to work through their emotions, wanting to look at what I was saying. So I think as a facilitator, as a skill to be developed, is really being able to be okay with the fact that no, we can't help everybody, and that's okay. Right?
Now, if I was working with a client, and one day they came in and they were very much in that non-receptive mode, it was always about kind of meeting them where they're at. Right? Saying, "Okay. So what are they receptive to? And for what reasons are they not being receptive?" And typically, it comes down to fear. Sometimes it's fear of change. Oftentimes, there's fears of letting go of certain emotions. Right? "If I let go of this feeling that I'm not good enough, then, oh my goodness, I'm good enough. And if I'm good enough, then people will see me as good enough, and maybe they'll want to attack me in the same way I was attacked as a child when I was succeeding in my reality." Right?
So again, everybody has such a unique thumbprint of past experiences, which lead to unique thumbprints of perspectives and fears and emotions. It's about kind of meeting that person where they're at, and hopefully kind of shifting them into a place where they feel safer in exploring what it is that they need to explore.

Ashna: That's great. I really like that meeting them in the place they're at. That's really... I have to remember that, because-

Nick: Yeah.

Ashna: ... that's important when you're coaching people. Right?

Nick: Yeah. Yeah. And not everybody again, is... A lot of people think they want change, but there's a deeper part of them that really doesn't. And like I said, you have to meet somebody where they're at, and not push against the fact that they might not want to change, and be okay with the fact that they might not want to change; and that's okay.

Ashna: Cool. Thank you. Another question I was thinking about, and I'll just quickly check my notes. So, when you talk about vibration, and that we always have a choice of what you want to practice; you can practice not good enough, but you can equally practice good enough. And I just wanted to talk about that a little bit. Sometimes when you are highly triggered and in a low vibration, trying to shift that, and choose the higher over the lower can be quite challenging. Can you talk a little bit about that?

Nick: Yeah. So, really I think that the... I don't want to say better way, because nothing is truly better; but a good way to compare these emotions, positive versus negative, is to first understand that both positive end of the stick versus negative end of the stick of an emotion, like good enough versus not good enough, both of those emotions are equally available. So, one emotion is not any harder to tune into than the other emotion, from kind of a neutral state. But what happens is, again, typically through childhood, as we grow up, we pick up our negative programming, we pick up our perspectives, which then fuel one of those two ends of the stick.
So, if growing up, I've got a very judgemental and criticizing parent who's always making me feel like I'm not good enough, then both consciously and subconsciously, I'm going to form beliefs and perspectives that fuel the not good enough end of that stick. So, both emotions are always accessible at all times. They're just energies. Right? However, because we hold that programming, that perspective of "I'm not good enough because of what dad told me as a child," or "because my teacher made me feel and believe that I was not good enough as a child," then that programming automatically reinforces the negative end of the stick, which then kind of defaults us or makes us habitually tune into that negative emotion.
It's like Abraham Hicks says, "Emotions are our guidance system." And the way she explained it, she says, "Emotions are guiding you, to let you know that what you believe is either in alignment or in disalignment with source." And I agree with that. So when you are feeling good, when you're feeling positive emotions, then your beliefs are in alignment with source, your inner being. When you're feeling negative emotions, then your beliefs are a mismatch or a disagreement to what you're inner being, your source, which is unconditionally loving, would truly believe.
Now, I like to take it one step deeper, because not only are those emotions telling you whether you're in agreement or disagreement with what source believes, but they're also getting more specific than that. So, if you've got an emotion of not good enough, then there is a specific belief fueling that negative emotion. A negative emotion or positive emotion, any emotion really, cannot exist without an underlying belief or perspective.
Oftentimes, those beliefs and perspectives are subconscious, outside of our awareness, because they were maybe formed a long time ago; and we forget about those incidences in childhood. But if I've got an emotion of not good enoughness, if you can get out of your head, and simply ask the question, "I feel that way because..." Most of the time, a perspective will come up. And if you can invalidate that perspective, if you can reframe that perspective, if you can work your way out of that perspective, and realize that this is not valid, once you shift out of that perspective, that emotion will shift too. And that's kind of the foundation of how this Belief Tree process works that we use so much in the Collective.

Ashna: That's brilliant. Thank you.

Nick: Yes. So all that to say is that if you're dominantly sitting in negative emotions on a certain topic, then there's a reason for that; there's underlying perspectives and beliefs anchoring you towards that negative emotion. And when you work through that negative emotion and the underlying beliefs and perspectives, then it's much easier to reach for that positive side of that emotion, that positive set point. And when I used to do the one-on-one work, it would take about maybe six to eight weeks to work through the dominant negative emotions that people are holding. And once you work through those things, you wake up feeling so much lighter. Being in alignment gets so much easier. It's like that baggage is no longer weighing you down on your shoulders anymore.

Ashna: Yeah, brilliant. That's great. That's made me feel lighter, just thinking, just that expanding on explaining, how that's available to you. A question about the receiving mode that you mentioned earlier; sometimes I find it difficult to get into the receiving mode. So, can you talk a little bit about how we do this with ease, and not make it as an effort? Because I find there's a fine line between wanting to feel something with ease, and then turning it into a need. And before you know it, the attachment to outcome creeps in, and the ease suddenly doesn't feel as easy.

Nick: Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about, excuse me, the mechanics of the receiving mode; and then we'll get into kind of what hampers that receiving mode. So, the analogy that I like to use is a sponge. So when you take a sponge, and you compress it as much as you can, that sponge becomes very dense; and it's got very little room or very little ability to absorb any water. Now, if you completely expand that sponge as big as that sponge can get, it's more open, it's lighter, it's kind of fluffier; and there's more room for it now to allow a lot more water to be absorbed by that sponge. So as humans, our energy field kind of acts the same way that sponge does; the more open and expanded that our energy field is, the more we have the ability to let in, to receive, whether it's impulses, whether it's intuition, whether it's even manifestation.
But the problem is that most people are living not with an open energy field, but they're living very closed up. They're living in a very dense state. So the question is, "What's closing people up? Why are people so tense and rigid with this shrunk energy field all the time?" And that's because most people are dominantly living in a state of overwhelm, of stress, of pressure, of fear, of efforting.
And you can tell how open your energy field is, and how much you're in the receptive mode, simply by tuning into your physical body. So if you kind of just, as you listen to this episode, if you just kind of relax in your chair and close your eyes, and take a nice deep breath in; check and see on a zero to 10 scale, 10 being extremely tense, zero being completely relaxed, "How tense am I in my body?"
And when you ask this question to people, most people are somewhere on a five to seven, maybe even eight on that scale. Most people, and I suggest that you check this randomly throughout the day, just check in and see, "How tense am I in my body?" We have been so used to being in a state of tension and stress and overwhelm; sometimes it's anxiety and fear. Sometimes it's just deadlines and having coworkers at work that are on your case all the time. So when we're in that state all of the time, it becomes our default. Right? And again, that closes up that receptivity mode. It cuts us off from that intuition from source, that guidance that we're always able to receive, but most people aren't because of that disconnect, because our energy field is so constrained. Does that make sense?

Ashna: Yeah. Yeah. It's right, too.

Nick: And when we work on those negative emotions that we just talked about a few seconds ago, that also opens up our end energy field; because when you're feeling maybe not good enough or angry all the time, again, that's congruent to those tight, tense states of being. One of the favorite kind of vibrations I like to tune into, I call it vacation mode. Right? I love that feeling of being at the beach at a resort, laying by the ocean, sipping on some mojitos, just being completely relaxed. That's a state of being. Right? That's a state I bookmark called that vacation mode. And when I feel like it, I'll just sit on the couch, and I'll sit there maybe with my coffee, or I'll stare at the window at the ocean here. And I'll just relax into that feeling. And I can just feel my whole body just melt with relaxation. And I know that in those instances, I'm in that pure feeling of receptivity.

Ashna: That's brilliant. That's really good. Thank you. Next one. So, this is something I experience sometimes. So, some of my beliefs are more stubborn than others. Yet, sometimes that stubborn belief, I can overcome it or transcend it easily. And quite unexpectedly, I'll be just like, "Okay. That's fine." And I can sort of get past it. But then, that same belief can pop up again, and it's difficult to get past. So the same belief, I can deal with differently. And I sometimes wonder what's going on with our belief system, why it's so volatile. It's the same belief and emotion, but in different situations, I deal with it differently.

Nick: I love this question. And this takes us again, back to that Belief Tree process. And something that a lot of people experience is they'll go maybe for a Reiki session or a ThetaHealing session or an Access Consciousness session, and they'll work on an emotion. And then they feel like that emotion is gone; and then three weeks later, they're right back in it.
So, earlier I explained kind of the dynamic of emotions, how emotions work; how you cannot have an emotion without an underlying belief or perspective that fuels that emotion. So, some emotions, and again, it's different for all people. You might have an emotion such as not good enough. And under that emotion of not good enough, there might just be one perspective there. And if you work your way out of that one perspective, then that not good enough feeling will probably go away for a very long time, unless you do something or pick up a new belief that might bring it back.
Now, another emotion for you, let's say stuckness; it might have eight different perspectives underneath that emotion. And in your Belief Tree session, maybe with me and the Collective, if we get rid of four of those branches, it might go away a little bit for now. And then, those four other branches, those four other perspectives, still anchor that emotion in place. So, with every one of those branches, with every one of those perspectives that you clear/delete/remove, that emotion is going to get lighter and lighter. But until you work through all of the underlying perspectives and all of the branches that are anchoring that emotion in place, then it's probably still present in your emotional baggage and in your vibration. So, in your clearing work, when you're working through a specific emotion, you want to make sure you clear out all of those underlying branches, not just kind of one or two of them, if you want that negative emotion to kind of leave you alone at on a more permanent level.

Ashna: Brilliant. That makes sense. And yeah, I can relate to when you are working on that stuff, different stuff just pops up and keeps branching out. But I couldn't quite connect what was going on there; that it was easier in the past, and now it's come back and I've sat with it, and everything.

Nick: Yeah, and oftentimes, especially as a facilitator, where we know these tools and these processes, because it's our own stuff, we are kind of stuck in the energy of the problem of it. And it's much harder to see the solution or identify, "What's that pesky perspective that's hiding from me, saying to anchor this negative emotion in place?" So oftentimes, by working with another facilitator or somebody else that's really good at holding the energy of the solution, they're coming in with an outside perspective. And they can ask those probing questions in a way that we're not so much in our mind about it, which helps identify those things a little bit easier, we'll say.

Ashna: Yeah. Yeah. I've got another question. It's a bit topical, and I don't know how we're going to... How you're going to answer it.

Nick: That's okay. Play it.

Ashna: I was watching the news... Oh yeah. I was watching the news; and of course, there's a lot in the news about Ukraine. And it got me thinking about dictators, and dictators over time. And what level of unconsciousness or beliefs goes on with people who in our history is so strong at whatever it is, to the point where people follow them, and they get all this collusion with the masses and create this chaos. I was just wondering what your take is on people like that. What's going on there with these people?

Nick: Yeah. Well, what I enjoy about this work, is the understanding and the knowingness that all of our desires and all of our behavior is basically rooted in our own internal programming. So, everything that we desire is rooted in how we want to feel. So, some people who choose to be dictators are compensating for their inner emotional turmoil, which probably relates to lack of control or powerlessness or emotions that relate to those things specifically.
So it's funny, because what comes to mind was a meme that came through earlier this week that I saw, which said something like... It had a certain dictator's name that said, "This is what happens. Men would rather go to war than they would to go to therapy and deal with their emotions." Right? Which is kind of true. Right? Because all true turmoil is our own inner demons, our own emotions. And when we do things to want to hurt other people, it's not because we are naturally driven to wanting to hurt other people. It's because of our own inner programming and our inner turmoil, find soothing for some reason, in causing pain for others.

Ashna: Yeah. Interesting.

Nick: And it's unfortunate. It's a very unfortunate part of the human experience. I wish it didn't happen; but at the same time, my hope is that there's more positive outcome and more positive transformation in these circumstances by a large factor than there is in the negative things that occur in what's going on.

Ashna: Yeah. And then, just something you mentioned there reminded me, when you mentioned the word lack. I can't remember if I was watching, what video I was watching, but there's this talk of when you want something, you can actually be practicing the lack of it. How does that...

Nick: Yeah. So, vibrationally, what happens, and this is very common in the domain of manifestation and the Law of Attraction, is a lot of people are actually blocking the manifestation of their desires because they're busy chasing after the manifestation of those desires. So every time you say, "I'm going to go do this journaling so I can manifest the money that's not here. I'm going to go meditate so I can manifest the money that's not here. I'm going to go do this, that, and the other thing, so I can manifest the money that's not here." So in every one of those intents, even though you're not specifically saying those words, you're still attuning to the vibration of "the money's not here." And what that does, is it just propagates that cycle and that experience of absence of that thing that I'm noticing is absent in my reality.

Ashna: So, it can be quite easy to just keep spiraling until you get that awareness, I guess, that that's what you are doing. Because I remember last year, where I was trying to manifest a house to move to, and I just couldn't. And I was like, "Well, I'm doing this and I'm doing that. And I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to do. And it's in my Version 2.0." But actually, I wasn't manifesting anything, but I couldn't put it together. I couldn't understand where I was going wrong with that approach. And it would create more frustration because it's like, "Okay. Now this doesn't work."

Nick: And that's the story for probably over 90% of people who study Law of Attraction. Right? And that's why in the Collective, we talk about manifestation is old news.

Ashna: Yeah.

Nick: It's not about manifestation anymore. It's about understanding that there's a better way to experience your reality, and it doesn't involve chasing the things that you want. And the irony is that when you understand that, and you really stop chasing, and you start learning how to live blended with the 5D and blended with the quantum, and following your path of highest excitement, and being present in the now; that all of these things that you used to be seeking, that you're not chasing after anymore, then they all start trickling into your reality with absolute ease, which is quite ironic. I'm sure spirit is laughing at us, in terms of how much we get in our own way when it comes to this world of manifestation.

Ashna: Absolutely. That's all my questions-

Nick: Perfect.

Ashna: ... I have.

Nick: Awesome. Amazing questions. Anything else you wanted to share or ask before we close up and wrap things up?

Ashna: No, that's good. That's been very insightful and very helpful as I embark on my journey for coaching. And it's really interesting to get that time with you, then get a bit more of an insight, Nick. So thank you very much for opening up this opportunity for people.

Nick: Perfect.

Ashna: To do The Five Questions.

Nick: It is absolutely my pleasure. And we'll see you our next set of Collective calls next week.

Ashna: Next week.

Nick: That concludes today's episode of Change Your Reality. If you'd like to apply to be a guest on the show or, join our membership program where we do three hours of group calls with our members like this every week, you can find all the details on my website at nickbreau.com. Bye for now.

Ashna: Thanks.

Nick: That's it for today's episode of Change Your Reality. If you'd like to apply to be a guest on the show, or to join our membership community, or to be trained as a facilitator, you can find all the details on the website at nickbreau.com.