by | Apr 20, 2022

Ep. 006: Five Questions with Dana

This is not like most podcasts. Few allow you to sit in on an enlightened conversation with a Master Teacher, and gain the learnings; even have your own breakthroughs…or even be on the show yourself!

Today we have a beautiful segment of Five Questions with Dana where we dive deep into the topic of slowing down – something virtually everyone needs, but very few people are able to do. We also discuss the topic of abandonment and work through childhood programming in Dana’s vibration to help her raise her vibration.

Key Points From the Interview:

  • Dana’s journey began at the young age of 18 after reading Change Your Life by Louise Hay and expanded into teachers such as Abraham-Hicks, Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle.
  • Dana wonders what she has going on in her vibration that is always causing her to be late.
  • A discussion on the topic of boredom, and how it relates to overstimulation, adrenal fatigue, and the need to slow down.
  • Nick assists Dana in working through fears around slowing down, and how for many people it doesn’t feel safe.
  • Working through feelings of not mattering and abandonment using the Belief Tree Process.

Value Bombs in this Episode

  • How we experience time, whether it be abundance of time or lack of time, is based on a practiced vibration.
  • When we keep rushing to the next thing, next thing, next thing in our reality, we aren’t fully present in our now moments.
  • Our power is when we are present and grounded in our physical reality.
  • When you slow down and become present in your reality, you can experience more with less effort.
  • It’s never the circumstance that triggers us into fear or negative emotions, but the perspectives about that circumstance.

Want to join me and be a guest on Change Your Reality?

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Show Notes

1:10 – Nick welcomes Dana to the show.

1:25 – Dana shares that her spiritual journey started at the young age of 8 years old learning through her mother when her grandmother passed away. When she turned 18 she read You Can Change Your Life by Louise Hay. Some of the teachers she follows now include Abraham-Hicks, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, and eventually finding her way to Nick.

4:45 – Dana asks her first question, wanting to better understand time in the context of spirituality, and why she’s always running late or putting things off.

5:20 – Nick shares how time is a vibration just like everything else in our physical reality.

6:35 – Dana realizes that she has been practicing the vibration of lack of time.

8:30 – Dana shares how she easily falls into a state of boredom.

8:45 – Nick talks about the constant need for external stimulation, which relates to having overactive adrenals and adrenal fatigue.

10:30 – Dana shares how she feels like she’s always running, and not receiving the signs that her inner being may be trying to send her.

11:20 – Nick talks about the importance of slowing down, how society is conditioned to need to rush.

13:20 – Nick talks about how the go go go that most people have going on negatively impacts their sleep and health.

15:45 – Nick uses a probing question with Dana to identify what programming she carries that tells her it’s not safe to slow down.

16:10 – Dana uproots an unconscious belief that if she slows down, she will die.

16:40 – Nick does some reframing work with Dana to clear the fear that it’s now safe to slow down.

18:30 – A second belief surfaces for Dana, the belief that if she slows down that she won’t make any money.

19:20 – Nick explains how the more you slow down the faster you go.

21:10 – Nick talks about the path of effort vs the path of ease.

22:30 – Nick talks about integrating the path of ease over effort.

23:00 – Nick gives an assignment to Dana to help her slow down multiple times a day using a timer for grounding and presence.

28:05 – Dana asks about an irrational fear that she practices around an ex partner and explains how easily he triggers her into the fear.

30:30 – Nick does some probing work to identify the root of Dana’s trigger and identifies that it relates to an abandoned feeling.

31:05 – Dana explains how this makes sense due to childhood circumstances relating to the divorce of her parents.

32:15 – Nick does a little Belief Tree clearing work on the abandoned feeling with Dana.

33:30 – Nick helps Dana clear a caught of guard feeling.

34:45 – Nick helps Dana identify an underlying perspective that she doesn’t matter.

35:10 – Nick explains a bit about the Belief Tree Process.

35:30 – Nick helps Dana reframe that she doesn’t matter.

37:50 – Nick helps Dana reinforce the perspective that she matters.

38:35 – Nick explains to Dana that her not slowing down relates to her needing to accomplish things for validations.

39:05 – Dana’s feeling of not mattering is now virtually gone.

38:50 – Dana shares some words of gratitude and appreciation for this work.

Nick: Hi, I'm Nick Breau and this is Change Your Reality. A series where we assist you, our audience through personal breakthroughs, Q and A's, and interviews to help you create big shifts in your life.
All right, welcome to Change Your Reality. I'm your host, Nick Breau and today we are doing a segment of five questions. This is where we bring in one of our audience members for a Q and A style conversation based on five questions that they have prepared. And today we are talking with Dana in Sweden. How are you today, Dana?

Dana: I'm very good, thank you, Nick.

Nick: Excellent. And tell us a little bit about your journey, your self-help, law of attraction journey up to this point.

Dana: Well, my law of attraction journey started, my spiritual journey started when I was approximately about eight years old and my grandmother passed away. And it was actually my mother that started her self search and answers. And she took me in it and then it was from there, it started. And then when I turned 18, I got Louise L. Hay's book, You Can Change Your Life as a present and got to know her philosophy. And I was really impressed about the changes she had made and-

Nick: Amazing. And do you remember who got you that book?

Dana: I think it was my mother's friend, one of her best friends.

Nick: Amazing, so good.

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: And it's interesting how a lot of people get thrown into the spiritual path based on contrast, contrast and kick the butt kind of nudges them in this direction. And you got eased into it, it sounds like.

Dana: I got eased when I was 18 and then I got more kicked in the butt when I was 38.

Nick: So the universe was just warming you up for your kicking in the butt, it gave you a bit of a-

Dana: It was, it was, it was.

Nick: Awesome.

Dana: But I'm very grateful for that.

Nick: Good. And who are some of the teachers you listen to or follow now?

Dana: I think it started from there and then it's like everything else, you start listening. And then I think Louise L. Hay mentions, I bought an audio tape and she mentioned Abraham-Hicks. And then you started going on YouTube and I was listening to Wayne Dyer. And then, well, you came along a couple of years ago on YouTube. And I mean, reading books, Eckhart Tolle is one of my favorites as well.

Nick: Awesome, lots of amazing names.

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: So you got some good questions lined up for today?

Dana: Yes I do.

Nick: Yeah. You want to kick us off with your most exciting question?

Dana: Well, it's actually, the first one is from one of Louise L. Hay, from one of her tapes, when she... I was thinking about the whole money thing and thinking about my own blocks and she says something very interesting. And she says something about if you take from life, life will take from you. And she says that it could be time, or it could be relationships, or other things inside that. And I was trying to analyze myself and when I started listening, I was like, I'm not going to take even a paper clip from my workplace.
I'm really going to be like, what you give out is what you're going to get back. But the thing is I'm like, I don't think I steal relationships, I don't have that kind of thing that I've been through. But I think I have something with time. And my question is time is something that's been like a family pattern. So could you explain more about time and the spirituality thing? Because I'm always five or 10 minutes late, can be. Not today, but normally. And can sometimes leave work a little bit it earlier because I'm done or I think like, "Oh, I'll do that tomorrow." Is it in there I should think?

Nick: Well, time is a vibration, just like anything else. So when we talk about these concepts, we talk about how oftentimes it's concepts like not good enoughness, or worthiness, or abandonment. So if you've got a lot of negative emotions of not good enoughness then your physical reality is just going to reflect back that not good enoughness to you, either through a partner that treats you poorly or a boss that you can never please, or those types of circumstances. So those are the types of things that people are more familiar with when we talk about this notion of law attraction and your reality being a reflection of what you're practicing. Now, when we talk about time or maybe shortage of time or lack of time, it's the same thing. So if you're constantly practicing a perception or a belief that there's not enough time to get everything that I need to have done done. So lack in the same way that lack of finances is a vibration that people practice, lack of time is also a vibration that can be practiced.

Dana: And that's what I'm practicing, yeah. I always-

Nick: So are you recognizing that right now the voice in your head is, "Oh, I'm not going to have enough time to finish this, I'm not going to get there on time," right?

Dana: Or yeah, that's the thing when I get up and then I'm like, "Give me just five more minutes." And I'm like, "Yeah, if you stay five more minutes, you're not going to have time, then you have to push your son, get all the things." So yeah, that's me.

Nick: And what I would do as an exercise to break that habit or counter that is find little gaps in your day, maybe five minute long gaps. And just take those five minutes and sit down in a comfy chair or lay down on your bed. And in that five minute time, just spend time recognizing, "Wow, I've got five minutes all to myself right now. Look at all of these five minutes that I have just for me. There's nothing I need to do, there nowhere I need to be, there's nothing I need to solve. Right now, I can just allow myself to be fully present in this now moment." And one of the problems with practicing this lack of time vibration is that when we are rushing and trying to get to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, then oftentimes we're not fully present in our now moment. So that's something to watch out for.

Dana: And the thing is that, that's the other thing, I think that I enjoy when in my workplace or I enjoy when things happen. I get really stressed out of being bored, really stressed out. It's like on Sundays, this Sunday that passed, I was so bored and I was like, "God..."

Nick: So what that nudges me towards is the idea of overly active adrenals or adrenal fatigue. So do you find that you sleep well? Do you wake up rested in the morning or do you feel like you're tired most of the time?

Dana: I'm tired most of the time.

Nick: So what this boredom is, it's actually a response to what I call lack of stimulation. And I see it in my kids, I see it in a lot of children and a lot of people, where when our mind is used to be stimulated all the time. So if you take something like TikTok for example, when kids are looking at TikTok, these are like 30 second video clips. You're swiping through clip, after clip, after clip, after clip, after clip, that's constant hits to your mind of like, "What's the next thing? What's the next thing?" So it's like a form of stimulation. And wanting to jump to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and the next thing is because you're looking for that stimulating burst of something to engage with in your reality, do you know what I'm talking about there?

Dana: I know exactly what you're talking about, yeah.

Nick: So the boredom is not necessarily boredom. If you really sit with it, I don't think it's boredom. I think it's the mind wanting that adrenal hit, wanting that stimulation, wanting to consume the next thing. Does that make sense?

Dana: That makes so much sense. And the thing is that I've even thought I've got the thing that I'm running, I'm always running from feelings. I think it's actually, I'm running so fast because I've been complaining that I don't get the signs that life is giving me. No, of course not because you're running.

Nick: And do you see how the first thing we talked about, which was the lack of time and the rushing, do you see how that relates to what we're talking about now, which is stimulation and possibly adrenal fatigue? Because your mind is like, it's always looking for the next thing. And that's what pulls you into this pattern of rushing next thing, next thing, next thing, next thing. And I can relate, because it's something that I've been working through for myself these last few years, really trying to slow down. When I did those 10 years in tech, in startups, in the startup world, back in the early 2000s, it was about first to market. And you got these deadlines and you got to get it done and out the door now, now, now, now, now, now, now. So I think a lot of society is conditioned and a lot of people listening to this episode are going to relate to exactly what you're talking about.

Dana: Yeah. Well, that's good. That's good. inaudible, that's really good.

Nick: Yeah, and don't see it as something that's broken or something that needs to be fixed. But understand that from a manifestation, from a lot of attraction standpoint, our power is when we're present and our power is when we're grounded in our physical reality. So the more you give yourself permission to slow down and the more you take the steps to slowing down, both physically and energetically, the quicker you're actually going to move forward in your physical reality.

Dana: I've heard you said that a lot of times in my calls and everything. And the first like thing that popped up is like, yeah. And that's not so weird that I have then this physical reality, where I have a boss that just pushes. Like literally, I have my calendar booked up from like 8 o'clock until like 4:30 when I leave and it's just... And it's perfect for me because I can still run. But I feel that's why I'm so drained when I get, not that much anymore, but I can see it. I really get what you're saying.

Nick: Absolutely.

Dana: So yeah, so yeah. Need to slow down. And that's, I think, where also my job situation will have to start to change.

Nick: And for me, it's impacted so much, so even like physical health. So for me, and I'm not a medical doctor, I don't give medical advice, but for me and a lot of clients that I've worked with, when your adrenals are go, go, go like that. When you sleep at night, you don't get into the deepest REM cycles. And then the deepest REM cycles is where your body goes into rest and repair mode. So our physical health is also dependent and correlates to our adrenal health.

Dana: The thing is that, from now talking, I can see the whole family pattern. I can see really, where I get it from because in my family and in my work, everywhere where I've worked, I've always been gratified you say in English, when everything, "Oh, Dana, you're so quick. Oh, Donna, you get this done and you always get stuff done and you go..." And that gives me the adrenaline kick to go on running.

Nick: Absolutely.

Dana: So for me, this is going to be like, okay.

Nick: Oh, if you can implement what we're talking about today, this is going to completely transform your life. And again, the concept of slowing down, oh sure, easy, slow down. But it's not that simple. It's about changing how habits and giving ourselves permission to slow down and being in stillness. And there's going to be some discomfort there at first because it's a new habit. It's something that you're not used to. But once you really start to settle into that stillness and that slowness, and once that discomfort starts to dissipate and you're building this new muscle, it's going to feel so good for you. You are going to love just relaxing into that stillness. I can guarantee it.

Dana: I'm absolutely sure about it because I know exactly what you mean. I need to have had a really intense workout for me to get that feeling. And I have been working on slowing down and I've been more conscious about... So it's fantastic that we're actually talk about it.

Nick: Do you want to play with a probing question really quick?

Dana: Yes, please.

Nick: Okay. So out of your head, ground for a second, because I know you're probably a very analytical person. So take a deep breath and what's the first thing that comes to mind when I say, it's not safe to slow down because if I do...

Dana: I won't make it.

Nick: I won't make it.

Dana: Well, actually first, first was I will die.

Nick: Okay. And do you see how these beliefs like if I slow down, I will die or if I slow down, I won't make it, would get in your way of giving yourself permission to slow down?

Dana: Absolutely.

Nick: Good. Now, if I slow down, which I've slowed down tremendously over the last couple of years, if I continue to slow down, will I die?

Dana: No, you won't.

Nick: Do you have friends who are go, go, go, go, go, go, that you can think of off the top of your head? Do you know other people that are like that?

Dana: No, they're actually quite calm.

Nick: Okay. What about at work? Are there people at work that you see that are like that?

Dana: I think it's my boss actually.

Nick: Perfect. So if your boss was like that, go, go, go, go, go, go. If she gave herself permission to slow down, would she die?

Dana: No, she wouldn't.

Nick: Is there anybody on this planet, who if they gave themselves permission to slow down like that, that they would die?

Dana: No, they wouldn't.

Nick: Okay, good. So can you recognize that if it's safe for everybody else to slow down, that won't die, that it must also be safe for you?

Dana: Absolutely.

Nick: Good. Can you take a second and just let that sit and can you recognize this belief that if I slow down, I will die, can you recognize this belief doesn't make sense?

Dana: Yes, I can.

Nick: Can you feel that feeling that this belief doesn't make sense?

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: And what we're doing here is we're invalidating that perspective, so that we take the edge off of that fear, so that we clear that fear a little bit. Does that fear feel different now?

Dana: Yes, it does.

Nick: Does slowing down feel a little bit easier now?

Dana: It does. It's more of a, if I slow down, I won't make any money. But I'm not going to die now.

Nick: Perfect, okay. And do you believe that there's people who make lots of money, who are working way less hard and way slower than you are?

Dana: Yes.

Nick: Would you agree that there's people who are making massive amounts of money with absolutely even very little, if any work at all?

Dana: Probably there are. I don't know them. But yeah, probably, yeah.

Nick: So if it's possible for them, is it possible for you too?

Dana: I get that in my head, but not in my body.

Nick: Just because you have not experienced it yet, correct?

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: Good. And remember earlier when I said the more you slow down, the faster your reality will go.

Dana: Yes.

Nick: The reason for that, how do you like the sentence, work smarter, not harder?

Dana: That sounds good. That feels good.

Nick: That feels good? Perfect.

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: So do you think that somebody who works smarter, instead of harder would make more money with less effort and more ease than somebody who works harder?

Dana: Yes, absolutely.

Nick: Good. So when you slow down, what you are doing is you're actually shifting out of harder mode and into smarter mode. Because when we slow down, we open up our energy fields when we relax. When we slow down, we calm down our nervous system. We're able to hear the intuitive nudges, the guidance from infinite intelligence, from our inner beings, from source. What do you think is more powerful, one, divinely guided idea from infinite intelligence towards your goal of money or working 1,000 hours?

Dana: Well, obviously your first option.

Nick: Perfect. So the question you want to ask yourself is which of those two paths do I want to take? Now, the path of effort is the dominant path, because that's what we're taught by society. That's what's ingrained in us from birth, that's the go-to, that's what we're taught, "Well, you got to work hard to earn your money, blah, blah, blah." But there's a smarter way. When you learn that you are not just a human being, but you're so much more than that. And when we allow the more than thatness to come through and integrate with who we are, which is that quantum version of ourselves, that 5D version of ourselves, that's what puts us in our power. That's what allows these beautiful inspirations and these beautiful ideas to come through from source. And I can guarantee you that all of our inner beings are a hell of a lot smarter than our inner critics.

Dana: Yeah, absolutely.

Nick: So how does that feel, when I say all of that?

Dana: It feels it's a big relief, it feels like a big relief. I feel a big relief. And my head started going, so how do we deal with the boss?

Nick: So here's the thing. So for people who are listening right now, I don't want you to go quit your job and say, "Nick told me I don't have to work anymore, there's a smarter way," right?

Dana: Absolutely. And I know that that's not the way. It's just that my mind went, yeah.

Nick: Yeah, so it's about integration, right?

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: It's about saying, okay, I am consciously aware that there is another way or that another way might even be possible. And you're in the membership community, you're in the collective, so you're in a great space to be learning this stuff and getting the support for walking this path. But you don't have to leap in full diving on into the deep end, head first. Work at your job and then set your intent. Okay, I want to slow down. I know there's value for me in slowing down. I know slowing down is my next step of expansion.
So then it's saying, okay, so that version of me who is slowed down, how's it feeling differently? What action steps is it taking differently? What is it believing differently? And then it's you, every day, setting your intent to be a little more of that version of you. So maybe it's telling your boss, "You know what? Eight hours of meetings is great, but could you please cut me down to seven hours of meetings because I just need a little bit of more breathing time between those calls?" So it's about you saying, okay, the slow version of me, that template reality version of me, who is living at the pace that I want to live, how can I start being that person today?

Dana: The thing is that I've already started. This is the funny thing, is I have this alarm set every hour on my phone. And everybody at work knows that my alarm sets every hour on the hour, because that was my way of saying, okay, when the alarm sets, you take a big breather, you find-

Nick: I love that.

Dana: I do that, but yeah.

Nick: So when your alarm goes off, that breather that you take, is it a 10 second breather? Is it a 25 second breather? Or is it a two hour breather? Or is it always different?

Dana: It's always different. If I get a really nice adrenaline kick, I just turn it off and go on running. But the days when I'm a little bit more grounded and I mean, how do you say? Sat in this sun in the morning and I've been a little bit, done my stuff in the morning. So I know that I'm a little bit grounded. Then my alarms help me to just, I think I take one or two breaths, but-

Nick: Okay, here's what you're going to do. You're going to annoy your coworkers even more. You're going to use two alarms. So when alarm number one goes off, that's when you start alarm number two. Alarm number two is let's say a five minute timer. If you can do five minutes. If you can't do five minutes, do two minutes. So start with five minutes. So every hour, when that alarm goes off or every two hours, whatever you pick, you turn that alarm off. You turn your five minute timer on and you just sit in stillness for five minutes. And in those five minutes, practice being grounded, practice being present, practice just being in your now, outside of your mind. And it doesn't have to look the same way every time.
So sometimes you could just sit back in your chair and just spend five minutes feeling your back against the back of your chair and your feet on the floor and your butt in the butt of your chair. Other times, you could meditate for those five minutes. Other times, you could just walk around your office building for five minutes. But again, what you're doing isn't important, but you want to make sure the energy behind what you're doing is about presence in your now reality. And on my YouTube channel, there's a meditation or an audio clip, it's an Abraham-Hicks mashup called Just Be. And I think that's a seven minute audio. And if you need to, you could use that too, because the statement it's using in that audio is there's nothing you need to do, there's nothing you need to get done, there's nowhere that you need to be. Your only job in this moment is to just be. And that's what you want to practice.

Dana: Is that the one that starts with just relax, because I think I've heard that one. And I think I fell asleep to that one last night actually, because I was all tense.

Nick: It might be, and then because you're in the membership community, you have access to all those activation audios too. So there's one there for relief. There's one there for money. There's a bunch of different ones. And using those might be a good idea as well. But again, your main focus in those five minute segments is to slow down and just be. And once those five minutes no longer feel uncomfortable for you, once it feels like it's getting easy, then see if you can bump it up a little bit, maybe to seven minutes and a half or maybe to 10 minutes.

Dana: Perfect, thank you.

Nick: I love that exercise for you.

Dana: Thank you, yeah.

Nick: Awesome, this is a great conversation. Next topic or any other questions off the top of your head?

Dana: I have this fear, for me, it's like I can't analyze, I can't get it because I was in a long relationship with my ex husband for 18 years. And it was quite turbulent. I'm half Spanish and half Polish and he's Spanish, so it was a lot of drama. But the thing is that I have this fear thing with him. It's like he triggers fear in me that goes way back. I really try to and I think I found the root of it. It's like when my parents split up, I was four and I can go all the way back to there. That's how far I've gotten there. But it's amazing how he can say something and it just triggers this amount of fear. And I don't know really what to do with it.

Nick: Yeah, so I love that you're going here. And so the first thing to recognize is it's never the circumstance, but it's our perspectives and the emotions we carry around that circumstance. So one example that I like to use is the actor, The Rock. You know who The Rock is? Dwayne-

Dana: Yes, I know.

Nick: Dwayne Johnson.

Dana: Yes, I do.

Nick: So if somebody walked up to The Rock and say, "Hey, Rock, you suck." Well, he wouldn't be very emotionally triggered because he's probably a big, confident guy. But if you go up to somebody who has a very low self-worth and very low confidence and say the exact same thing, "You suck." Then that's just going to pull that person down and that's really going to impact them. So again, the same circumstance, different response. So the response is that we have to circumstances are based on the programming that we carry. So you identifying that this trigger around your ex-husband relates to something in childhood makes perfect sense. And that's a sign that you're very self-aware, which is awesome. So what you want to do is ask the question, so to you, this trigger, it feels like it's an unsafe feeling?

Dana: Yes. It's I'm going to be left feeling, it's-

Nick: So an abandoned feeling.

Dana: Abandoned, thank you. It's an abandoned feeling.

Nick: Yeah, and that makes sense because if your parents split up when you were four and your dad went to live somewhere else or your mom went to live somewhere else, then that would explain that abandoned feeling, absolutely.

Dana: It was quite traumatic, my parents divorced because it was like the early '80s, so my dad went back to the Canary Islands and my mother immigrated from Poland to Sweden when she was 18. So our base was in Sweden. And I mean, no internet, no nothing. So dad like disappeared literally for that. And my mom emotionally disappeared. So I felt abandoned at four from both of my parents. And I know that that triggered a lot of... I set a lot of patterns, how to please and how to not listen maybe to my own feelings. And so I'm quite aware, but it's still like, "Come on, I've worked on myself so much."

Nick: That's okay, and you're familiar with The Belief Tree Process, so you understand that that emotion that's there, the only reason it's still anchored in place within you is because there's an underlying perspective that still is active within you, that makes it stay in place, right?

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: I don't want to get into this huge clearing session on this call, but let's play with it a little bit if you want to.

Dana: Yeah, please.

Nick: So is it feeling of I'm all alone? Is it abandoned? If you could really label this feeling, what would you label it?

Dana: It's quite a very uncomfortable fear of like if you get spooked, you have this feeling that you get, like somebody, yeah, spooks you. So I don't know if that's the word, so-

Nick: Like a surprised feeling? Like a-

Dana: Like a surprised feeling, but in a negative way.

Nick: Like a caught off guard feeling.

Dana: Yes.

Nick: Okay. And zero to 10, how strong is that feeling?

Dana: It's an eight and a half, nine.

Nick: Okay, we'll give it a nine. Can you tell where it sits in your body?

Dana: Yeah. It's like the chest, solar plexus and like in between.

Nick: Okay. We'll say it's in your solar and your chest.

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: Now again, let's get you out of your head, see if you can ground down to your feet, drop into your body. Without analyzing, without thinking about it, what's the first thing that comes to mind when you think that surprise, caught off guard feeling? I feel that way because...

Dana: Everything changed in a second.

Nick: Okay, everything changed in a second. Okay, and the fact that it all changed in a second, how does that make you feel?

Dana: Apart from scared? It's like it doesn't make any sense to me.

Nick: Okay. And the fact that it doesn't make any sense to you, how does that make you feel?

Dana: It's like why should I invest? Or something like that. It's like, why should I care? Why should I...

Nick: So like things don't matter or I don't matter?

Dana: Yeah. Like I don't matter. Things don't matter. It doesn't matter whatever happens, like it doesn't matter. That's the thing. And I don't matter, absolutely.

Nick: So I don't matter?

Dana: Yes.

Nick: Okay. And I feel that way because...

Dana: I feel that way because my parents separated.

Nick: Perfect, okay. Awesome, so now we're getting somewhere. So for anybody who's familiar with The Belief Tree Process, we've just gone down multiple layers of branches to find what seems like it could be the root belief, that's anchoring this top level, caught off guard feeling and place. So this feeling that I don't matter because my parents separated. So anybody on this planet whose parents have separated, does it automatically mean that they don't matter?

Dana: No.

Nick: Of course not.

Dana: No.

Nick: You mentioned that you have children, or child, or a son, yeah?

Dana: Yes, children.

Nick: And you're separated with your husband, you mentioned earlier too.

Dana: Yes.

Nick: So you separating from your husband, does that mean that your child doesn't matter?

Dana: No, it doesn't.

Nick: Good. So this belief that I don't matter because my parents separated, does that still make any sense?

Dana: No, it doesn't.

Nick: Good. Can you take a second and really acknowledge this belief is not true? And even though the four-year-old me, way back then believed that it didn't matter, that she didn't matter. Can you see that that simply wasn't true, even though that's the perspective that she took on, even though that's how she felt? Can you take a second and picture that four-year-old version of you in front of her?

Dana: Yes.

Nick: And show her that, yes, that she does matter and did matter and give her a hug.

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: Can you show her how your mom was in your life, the way that she was supporting you?

Dana: Can you say that again?

Nick: Can you show that four-year-old you how supportive your mom has been for you in your life, even after the separation?

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: And can you let that four-year-old you know, as she's being hugged by the future version of you, of herself, how much she really does matter? And is she letting that in?

Dana: Yeah. She's sobbing a lot.

Nick: Good. And are you allowing yourself to take that in, this fact that you actually do matter, that you've always mattered, even when you couldn't see it?

Dana: I'm getting there, yeah.

Nick: Good.

Dana: Oh, that was a big one.

Nick: Good. Would your inner being say that you matter?

Dana: Yes, it would, very much.

Nick: Would I say that you matter?

Dana: Yes, you would.

Nick: Would your son say that you matter?

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: Absolutely, so you absolutely do matter. You always have and you always will, just like everybody else on this planet.

Dana: That's amazing.

Nick: Good. Do you feel a little bit lighter now?

Dana: Oh yes, I do. So many things that just fell into place, you cannot even imagine.

Nick: Good. And this is also going to help you to slow down because you not slowing down is you seeking to validate that you matter through accomplishment?

Dana: Yes.

Nick: Now that caught off guard feeling that we started off with, which you said was a nine, does that feel a little bit different now?

Dana: Absolutely. It went down like two.

Nick: Awesome.

Dana: It's, yeah, practically doesn't. It's a one. I can feel it going away, just need to sink it in because this is-

Nick: And take a second and recognize too, how if you're always operating with this underlying fear of being caught off guard, again, how is that going to impact your adrenals? That literally falls, again, in play, in this field of not letting yourself slow down.

Dana: Yeah.

Nick: This is so good for you. This is going to be absolutely life-changing for you. I cannot wait to hear an update from you in the next few weeks.

Dana: Yeah, you will.

Nick: Any final questions or comments before we wrap up?

Dana: I just tell you that I'm so grateful. I just love your work and everything, so just thank you. I'm so happy that I found you on YouTube and bought your book and how life unfold itself to this moment, because this has been amazing.

Nick: And it's just going to keep getting better and better. I'm proud of you for the work you're doing, not only for yourself, but for the ripple effects it's going to have on your son and your kids and the people around you. This is the most life-changing work anybody can do. And the more people that are doing this work, the greater impact it's going to have on raising the vibration of this planet and making this a better reality for everyone.

Dana: Yeah, thank you so much.

Nick: Thank you so much for playing with us today, Dana. That concludes today's episode of Change Your Reality. If you'd like to be a guest on the show or join our membership community, where we do this work in a group every week or almost every week, you can find all of the details on the website at Bye for now.
That's it for today's episode of Change Your Reality. If you'd like to apply to be a guest on the show, to join our membership community, or to be trained as a facilitator, you can find all the details on the website at

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