Ep. 009: Five Questions with Mala

Nick: All right. Welcome to Change Your Reality. I'm your host, Nick Breau. Today, we're doing a segment called Five Questions, where we bring in one of our audience members for a Q&A style conversation based on five questions they've prepared.
Today on the show, we've got a lovely lady named Mala. Mala is in the UK. And I know Mala because she is in my Facilitator Training Program. She's one of our Freedom Leaders. Welcome, Mala.

Mala: Thank you, Nick.

Nick: You ready for some fun? Ready to play?

Mala: I am. Yes. Really looking forward to it.

Nick: Good. I'm excited to see some of your questions, because I know you've been studying this work for a while now. Why don't you give us a little bit about your background in the studies of personal development and Law of Attraction and all of this stuff?

Mala: Okay. I've been reading lots and lots of books, personal development books, for over 12 years now. They're all different types of books and things. But I came across Law of Attraction, probably about eight years ago, when I read The Secret.
It resonated with me, but I just didn't get it. And then, Abraham Hicks as well. Again, it just wasn't something that I was really focused on. But I didn't quite understand the channeling side of things. I just didn't understand. But I understood the concept of law of attraction.
I was using it anyway, without even realizing. I have manifested quite a few wonderful things in my life, but it was unconscious. I wasn't aware. And then, I came across you with your eCourses on YouTube. I just decided that ... Whilst I was listening to Abraham Hicks, you popped up. I was like, "Okay. Well, let's see." Something attracted me towards you.
I just felt it was really great for me to listen to your eCourses. I ended up listening to a lot of that. Joining the Alignment Academy. And then, I asked a question. You said, "There's a lot of things on the other side in the collective." And I joined immediately. That was June 2020.
All of that resonated. The first thing that resonated for me was when I read the book. I read your book as well. The first thing you said was, "Fun." And I thought, "That is so me." I've always been saying that having a lot of fun in your life is the main thing. And then, I was completely hooked on what you were saying.
And then, I think end of July, you decided to do the Freedom Facilitator's course. I knew as soon as I watched it I was going to join. I just knew it. Even though it wasn't something that I thought I was in my vortex, but ... Oh my gosh.
It has been the best thing I ever did. I absolutely love it. I'm now a Freedom Leader coach as well, although I do have my daytime job. But it's just been phenomenal the last two years.

Nick: Amazing. Amazing.

Mala: Thank you so much, Nick. I'm looking forward to asking you these questions that I have.

Nick: Awesome. All right. Let's dive in. Let's just go right to the questions and see what you want to talk about. I'm excited to see what you brought up.

Mala: Okay. My first question is ... You often talk about, "We chose to be here in this physical body." In particular, coming into family as well. When our soul chooses to come into a particular family. How do we know that is true?

Nick: The best book that I've read on the topic is called Journey of Souls by Michael Newton. There's a series. Michael Newton is no longer in the physical. He's since transitioned, but there's actually Michael Newton Institute that trains hypnotherapists in what they call, "In-Between Life Hypnotherapy," or, "In-Between Life Past Life Regression."
What Michael Newton did is he did thousands and thousands of cases where he would take people into a past life just before the moment of transition into the nonphysical. And then, he would get them to describe what they were experiencing. In these thousands and thousands of cases that he was doing and studying and researching, most people were explaining or describing the same type of experience, which is fascinating.
These books, Journey of Souls series, he basically takes different cases and uses them as case studies and explains what people are experiencing. He goes into soul families. He talks about how we have multiple incarnations, how we would reincarnate with the same souls in different lifetimes or different experiences.
To me, that is the book that really goes into the most amount of detail in terms of what I would maybe call the soul journey, which is the journey of being in the nonphysical and saying, "Hey. That planet Earth physical thing. That looks fun. I want to give that a try." And then, coming here for growth and expansion.

Mala: Wow. I need to read that work.

Nick: We mentioned it a few times in the collective and I'll post a link to it in the community page. But again, it's one of the first books I read on the topic and it's absolutely fascinating. And I've got friends who are mediums. I've got one friend who ... She was here once and she said, "Nick, there's somebody sitting next to you."
I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "There's a spirit sitting next to you." She described the spirit and it matched somebody who I knew that had transitioned to an absolute T. Details that she never would've known. She said, "This person's just here to let you know this, that, and the other thing."
I was like, "Perfect." For me, the fact that the nonphysical exists and we are more than just humans is apparent. Not just from books, but from real life experiences. Of course, physical reality and life experience is the best teacher. A lot of people can read books, but you'll really integrate new understanding when you experience these things for yourself.

Mala: Yes. Absolutely. I agree. Wow. Okay. My next question is ... You often say, "The past does not exist." How do we know that we've grown and expanded our knowledge and experience of our soul?

Nick: I think that our soul is infinitely intelligent and our soul exists beyond just the physical. That nonphysical part of us, our inner being, our soul, whatever you want to call it ... Because it exists in the nonphysical. It's aware of all things, all times. It's infinitely intelligent.
It's the human part of us that is unaware. My belief is that one of the reasons that we come into physical reality is not just for expansion and growth in your learning and understanding, but it's for the ability to experience the joy of discovery. The joy of experiencing the unknown.
Because when you are in the nonphysical and you're all-knowing ... You can't discover new things, because you're all-knowing. But here in the physical, we get to experience the magic of unfolding. The magic of discovering new things. Because when we come into the physical, all of our awareness is erased.

Mala: That's really good. That's great. Thank you. Okay. Number three. We all make a lot of decisions every day in alignment, or are allowed to out of alignment. I.e., a huge contrast like choosing a husband with so many red flags, let's say.
"If we knew the value of your contrast, we wouldn't resist it," is one of your quotes, which is fantastic. And so, it's for our transformation. Then, does it really matter from where our choices are made? Highest excitement or not?

Nick: One of the quotes ... I think it came from Wayne Dyer. I know Wayne Dyer said it. I don't know if he was the source of the quote, but, "Things don't happen to you, things happen for you." My belief is that everything that we experience in our physical is co-creation. It's a co-creation with, again, that source part of us. Infinite intelligence. Our inner being.
That part of us, which is co-creating this experience for us, is infinitely intelligent and unconditionally loving. As an infinitely intelligent, unconditionally loving co-creator, I don't believe it would ever allow us to experience something that we can't handle. Or that isn't in our best interest. Or co-create something that serves no purpose.
Because infinite intelligence wouldn't create a circumstance, contrasting or not, that doesn't serve a purpose for us. Everything that is happening to us, is happening for us. The question we need to ask is, "Am I allowing myself to benefit from what's happening to me?"
A lot of people, they're living life on autopilot. They're spending most of their time scrolling through social media, most of their time not being present in their physical reality. A lot of people ... It's because of emotional discomfort. When they're present, the stuff that they don't want to feel comes to the surface. Right?
Unfortunately, the path to expansion, the path to more is by allowing ourselves to feel those things and process them and work through them. Because we numb ourselves out with social media and stay in our mental body most of our day, then we aren't benefiting from our reality and what our reality is presenting to us. Because we're not present in it. Does that make sense?

Mala: Yes. Makes perfect sense. I think my next question is maybe a little bit similar, but probably in a slightly different way. We have our own desires that are in our vortex.
You say, "We only experience our desire if we are a true match to the vibration of the desire." How do I know my desire is really for me, if my IB already knows what I need to experience in this physical world?

Nick: One of the quotes that we recently talked about in the collective was, "I get what I need on the path to getting what I want."
A lot of people are familiar with the path of least resistance, and Abraham Hicks talks about the path of least resistance. We're all on our path of least resistance. We're all on our way to what we want.

Mala: Yes.

Nick: But when people think of the word, "Path," they think physical path. They think that it's a physical path where source or your inner being is going to guide you to the library. And then, it's going to guide you to a coffee shop. And then, it guides you to talk to a person. And then ... Right?
But the path isn't a physical path. The path is a vibrational path. If you understand how physical reality really works and the vibrational nature of physical reality, you experience what you're a vibrational match to. If I want to be ... I don't know. Head engineer at IBM.
If that's my goal, and this is where I am now vibrationally, and this is where I want to be ... For me to become the head engineer at IBM, I have to be a vibrational match to that experience. What does that vibrational path look like? Well, if I feel like I'm not good enough for that position, then that's part of the vibrational gap.
If I feel like I'm not worthy of that position, that leads to more vibrational gap. If I feel like it's not safe to be in that position, then, again, more vibrational gap. The path from here to any experience is about the path of eliminating that vibrational gap.
The way you do that, again, is not by going to talk to the right person or going to the bookstore or this or that. But it's about you shifting your vibrational essence to close that gap. Now, our vibrational essence is based on the thoughts we think, the emotions we feel, the perspectives we choose, and where we put our focus.
That's the work. What our inner being does is it says, "Okay. You want to be that engineer at IBM? Awesome. Let's work towards that." Well, the first thing you need to do is see that you're worthy of that position and that you're good enough for that position.
Your inner being says, "Okay. What circumstances can we co-create to help you shift these limiting beliefs, these limiting perceptions that you need to shift to close that gap? It's feelings of not-good-enoughness? Let's create some contrast. Let's create some circumstances to help bring those emotions up to the surface, so that they can be processed, so that they can be worked through."
And then, as you do that ... With every perspective shift, with every negative emotion that you release, you're practicing a new vibration. You're a different person attracting a different experience. People who feel stuck in reality, they're not stuck. We're never stuck, but it's the illusion of stuckness, because you're constantly practicing the same vibration.
That happens to a lot of people, because a lot of people are seeking the solution out here. They're busy chasing after, "What do I need to do out here to achieve this?" But in reality, the "Achieving this" has nothing to do with what you're doing out here. It's all about what you're practicing in here.
People are barking up the wrong tree when they're not addressing the vibration. Now, that doesn't mean you can sit on your couch all day and meditate and practice the vibration and everything's going to come up. Action is still part of the equation. When those inspired impulses come through, you still need to act on them in order to allow your reality to unfold in new ways. Does that make sense?

Mala: Perfect. Perfect. Makes perfect sense. Thank you. I wanted to ask you about fate and manifesting, which is probably similar to what you've just said.
Like you say, "You're in control of whatever we want through our vibration," again. Why does it then feel that we don't have that control, if I'm surrendering and allowing to everything that is?

Nick: I don't think we have control. There's two parts to us. There's the nonphysical part of us. And then, there's the physical part of us. My role as the physical me is to experience my reality.
That's what I'm here for is to experience. To dream up my desires, to allow the unfolding to occur, and to indulge in that experience. All right?

Mala: Mm-hmm.

Nick: My belief is that the control part of our reality, the one that's really moving the chest pieces, the one that's molding the clay ... That's the nonphysical part of me. That's the inner being. The inner being is like, " Okay. Mala wants to go from here to here. What is the path of least resistance? What is the circumstances that I can co-create to allow that unfolding to the best possible outcome for her?"
That's where the co-creation happens from that vantage point. But a lot of teachers say, "You create your reality. You could be, do, or have anything you want." Yes, I believe that's true. But the, "Having anything you want ..." That's still in correlation with your inner being.
Sometimes that thing that you want shows up. Not just in the way you imagined it, but in a much different way. A much better way. Sometimes what your inner being has lined up for you is different but better than what your conscious mind can comprehend. But when your conscious mind attaches, "It needs to look exactly like this," then you're closing the door to the manifestation. I see that a lot in relationships.
People who are in relationships and go through a breakup, but are still madly in love with that person ... They say, "No. I need to manifest that person. How do I manifest a text from this person? How do I manifest them to contact me? How do I manifest them to have my babies?" Your inner being could have somebody 10 times better queued up for you.
But because, in your inner critic mind, you're adamant that it needs to be that person ... Then, you're closing that door. The more open you are to allowing the unfolding be whatever it's going to be, the more receptive you are and the more you're going to let in. Especially, more of the preferred things that you're looking for.

Mala: Does that mean that you would miss that opportunity? If that person, as the example that you've just said ... Because you are so stuck in your way of, "It's got to be this person or this type of person ..." Does that mean that you will miss that desire for what the soul wants you to experience? Or does that delay the process?

Nick: I don't think you can miss a desire. Or I don't think there's such a thing as a closed door. But as long as you are attached to a specific outcome and what it needs to look like ... If your inner being and source has something much better than that queued up for you, then as long as you're practicing that resistance of, "No. It's got to be this," then you're closing the door to that other thing.
You could keep that door closed for 50 years. That's up to you. But the opportunity for what your inner being has queued up for you, which could span 50 different lifetimes or so much stuff, you can never miss out on it. You can simply delay it for an infinite amount of time if you continue to practice the same resistance.

Mala: Perfect. Okay. That really resonates with me. Not just the relationship part, but also all other parts as well. It's almost like somebody's knocking at that door and you're not actually listening to that knock.

Nick: Yeah. One of my ...

Mala: Which is your inner being.

Nick: One of my favorite topics lately is this topic of what I call, "Organic unfolding," which is simply taking a step back and saying, "Okay. I'm ready to experience everything that my physical reality has to offer. I'm willing and ready to completely allow this path of least resistance to unfold."
I am not going to set any intent. I'm not going to decide what it needs to look like. I'm not going to strive for anything. I'm simply going to focus on my connection with my inner being, on being present and grounded in my physical reality. Experiencing what I am meant to benefit from that, and allow things to unfold and see where it takes me.
That doesn't mean you stop having desire, because you're never going to stop desiring things. But it means you stop chasing after desire and you embrace whatever it is that infinite intelligence has queued up for you in your now moments. It makes life not only so much easier and pleasant and relaxing, but the unfolding becomes so much more magical. The synchronicities become so much more apparent.
My belief is that this is truly how we're meant to experience physical reality. If you look at animals ... We have birds here that migrate south in the wintertime. They're not sitting there pulling out their iPhone, checking their calendar to see, "Am I supposed to migrate south yet?" Or checking their GPS to see which direction they're supposed to head in.
Animals just have this instinctual knowingness. They get this impulse of, "It's time to go." And, "It's time to go in this direction." As humans, we have that too on all topics. But because we spend so much time in our mental body, so much time idealizing what circumstances should look like, and need to look like, and what we need to be striving for ... We cut off all of this beautiful inner guidance that we all have.
I think that's the root of struggle for most people in their physical realities. Because that inner guidance ... That's infinite intelligence. That's coming from source. There's nothing that will put you in your power more than when you're that blended five-dimensional being. Where you're receiving and acting on that type of guidance.

Mala: I've heard that you've said that before. It's just actually digesting how ... Comparing it to the animals, you've said it again. I do feel like we are so in our minds with so many things. I was just thinking about that today.
There's so much to do, and so little time. That's what I was thinking today. That was my focus today. It's so true. Sometimes I do feel that overwhelm, but it's, "How do I navigate myself so that the overwhelm just goes?" You've talked about grounding.

Nick: It's a common question from people who come into the collective after a few months. They get overwhelmed, because so much is showing up. What I explain to them is, you don't need to manage everything that's showing up.
Because you've got an inner being for that. You've got source for that. Let source and your inner being be your personal assistant. All you need to do is relax and let that guidance come in and just follow your impulses. Go ahead.

Mala: Where do you think the overwhelm actually comes from then? It is an ongoing thing for me, which I have belief treed, and I have looked at that. I'm better at it now. But where do you think that comes from?

Nick: That specific overwhelm comes from the underlying belief that I could screw it up. That I could get it wrong. That I could miss something.

Mala: That's probably my one. The, "I could miss something."

Nick: But the truth is, again, there's no closed doors. You must experience what you're a vibrational match to. You can just relax into your experience. Knowing that everything that I experience is the best possible thing for me.
Because think about it. The moments that you find yourself in are orchestrated by unconditionally loving, infinite intelligence source energy. If this is what you're experiencing in this moment, this has to be the best possible thing you could be experiencing at a soul level.
Again, we're so conditioned by society to be so mental body focused. To be so mind focused. Education is almost all focused on the mind and knowledge and memorization.

Mala: Yes.

Nick: We spend so much time in here that we're not grounded. We're not present. We're not tuning into our inner guidance. Really, that's where our power comes from.

Mala: I totally agree with you there. From experience, it has been for me the academic side. I'm a scientist by trade and an analytical chemist as well. It's analyzing everything.
Not just the work, but everything. Every area of my life. That has got me into ... Well, I guess a pickle, really. But actually, that was for me to then bring this to me. To say, "Chill out."

Nick: Absolutely.

Mala: I think, although I needed all of that in my life, I accept that now. By accepting that, it's brought me closer to actually thinking, "It doesn't really matter. I can't get it wrong."

Nick: Absolutely.

Mala: And I wanted to say, one of my things ... Well, my last question to you was ... The best advice I got from you was, "I can't get it wrong." For an analytical mind, that is such a relief. I often think about that.
It's written all over my walls at home as well, so my boys can see that too. But I'd like to ask. That is my best advice I've got from you. I'd like to ask you, what is the best and worst advice that you've been given about your journey so far?

Nick: Oh my gosh. You could never pinpoint it to one thing. I think there's new awarenesses coming in every month or every new week.

Mala: Okay. The most recent?

Nick: Recently, it's really this exploration of organic unfolding. We talk a lot about getting out of your mental body in the collective. That's so important.
When people are on this journey, a lot of people are jumping from book to book to book to book to book to book. To teacher to teacher to teacher to teacher to teacher to teacher.

Mala: Yep.

Nick: They're looking for something. They're looking for that one nugget that they think is going to completely change everything for them. What people need to understand ... This is something that I noticed for myself. I noticed I was doing that exact same thing. Book after book after book. Teacher after teacher. Course after course after course.
There wasn't a whole lot that was changing. I realized that what I was doing was, I was just accumulating head knowledge. I wasn't actually taking the time to process and to integrate and to do the work. When you do those things, shifts happen very fast. I think it was in less than six months of me doing that I manifested a million dollar bank account, a dream relationship, and a whole bunch of things just started flooding in.
It's not about finding the right nugget, but it's about doing the right things and sticking with them and doing them consistently. It's not the big, complicated things that are going to get you the results. It's the simpler things, but doing them consistently. In my Quantum Calibration Training .... We've talked about this.
The most important thing is living in a grounded state. Which is another word for saying, "Out of your mental body. Present in your physical reality." Living in that grounded state is what allows energy to move from the vortex from the quantum through you, because you're the bridge to the 3D world, and bring that energy of co-creation in.
Living with an expanded energy field. When your energy field is contracted all the time, it's like a sponge that's compressed tight and doesn't have room to let things in. Most people are living with that contracted energy field. Because of the pressure, the stress, the overwhelm, the fear. When you're living closed up like that and you're contracted ... Again, your receiving dish is closed instead of wide open.
When you're relaxed in your body ... You can tell how relaxed you are just by checking in with your physical body. How relaxed do you feel? How much tension do you hold? The more open and expanded your energy field is, again, the more you can let in. Both from a physical manifestation point of view, as well as intuitive nudges and intuition. Guidance from your inner being.
Those are just a couple of simple things that we talk about. Another one is transmitting dense energy. Allowing those negative emotions to come to the surface. Sitting with yourself and seeing what's there. Negative emotions are guidance. They're there to help you. They're there to show you what you're practicing that's holding you back.
As long as you keep ignoring the way you feel, you're not receiving the message. Those are some of the basics, but again, there's so many things that I could list off. But the key to success is start applying. Start integrating. Really, that's our focus in my work and in our online community. Helping people apply the stuff, so they can actually experience the changes for themselves.

Mala: That's perfect. That's why I think ... The work that I apply consistently to your work has led me to a more fulfilled life. Yes. Like you said, same as you, we're looking at books after books and searching for an answer. I don't know what I was looking for, to be honest.
But it's only when I decided that, "Okay. I'm just going to go with the flow. Let's see what comes into my life." Like I said, you popped up. I found something that resonated with me. I think that's when I started to follow more and more. Once I got deeper and deeper into this work. That's how I found you.
Obviously, this stuff works. That's what I've concluded from what we've done together. What we've ... I have my ebbs and flows. That's my 3D reality and I accept that. But it has shown me, in the last two years, all the stuff that I was doing prior to years of that work is that transformation.
I guess what I was wanting is that transformation of sticking to something. Consistency. Doing the work. Really applying it. Showing up. It all makes sense.

Nick: And it's important to know that you don't need a PhD to be successful at this work.

Mala: No.

Nick: This work is not stuff that's complicated. It's just knowing what to look at and doing the work and sticking with it and not being afraid to ask for help. People who come into the collective and the membership community. There's some that thrive. Within weeks, there's starting to manifest and experience new and different things. There's other people who don't.
The ones that don't, it's because they're not engaging. They're not asking questions on the call. It's okay to get help, even as facilitators. There's a lot of coaches and facilitators who are stuck. Because they do this work for themselves, they feel like, "It's not okay for me to go get help from somebody else. If I do this with other people, I should be able to help myself."
But when it's our own stuff, we are stuck in the energy of the problem. When we look at our own stuff and we're in the energy of the problem ... The energy of the solution is very hard to let that come through, when you're in the energy of the problem.
Finding other people who are at the vibration you want to be at, and who have the tools that can help you, and look in by holding that solution or that energy of the solution ... You're going to shift so much faster.

Mala: I can definitely vouch for that one. Because one of my beliefs was, "I know it all. I should know everything. I should know how to do these things." And it's, "I'm going to sort out my own problems." That's how my old self was feeling and doing.
It's only when I started asking for help, which was a big thing for me, because that's something I had to shift pretty quickly. And I knew that. Because it was always me, myself, and I. Rather than me and everyone. We're a collective. It took me a while to understand that. Therefore, it took me a while to transform as well. But once I did, it worked.

Nick: There's a spiritual saying that, "We all have the answers inside of us." I understand that. However, the answers sometimes come through synchronicities and co-creation with other people.
When we disallow the answers to come from external sources, we're actually disallowing that internal guidance. Because it's our inner beings leading us to these external sources that are there to help us along our path.

Mala: Yes. Like I say, it just took me a while to even get my head around that one. Once I did, it opened so many doors for me. The Facilitators program and all the people that I've co-created my existence with our group is just amazing.
It's by doing these sort of things that you can get to where you want to go to. No, but I just love this work. It's been so life-changing for me.

Nick: The best part is it's so much fun. Right?

Mala: It is.

Nick: Deep, emotional work is part of the process sometimes. But that doesn't have to be painful. Sure. There's a few tears. But again, you feel so much better afterwards. It's not about exploring 40 years of past traumas in depth.
It's just looking at, "Hey. What do I believe? I believe I'm not good enough. Why do I believe I'm not good enough? Okay. Let's shift you out of that." Again, as humans ... Especially, this day and age and from a spiritual vantage point, we are here to shift.
We are here to grow. We are here to integrate with our 5D quantum selves. The more we do that, not only does our life get better, but it creates ripple effects in the lives of others. I think that's really the key to helping and uplifting this planet.

Mala: Totally. Because whilst I'm also a coach and I have clients that then tell me ... Although the validation side of things is not an issue for me anymore through this work and at my day job as well. It's not that. I know. I know I'm doing a good job.
But you do get people saying, "Honestly, what you've done for me," or co-created, I would say, "has changed my life." Just to hear that, I know that I'm aligned with my myself. That's such a great feeling to have. I'm totally grateful for what I'm doing and what you've taught me.

Nick: Awesome. Well, thank you for doing what you're doing and applying all of this work. Any final comments or questions before we wrap things up?

Mala: Well, no. Well, I don't have any more. I wish I did, but I've really enjoyed talking to you. This is such a great opportunity to have with you anyway. Just to answer some of my burning questions I had. Thank you so much.

Nick: Awesome. Well, thank you for showing up and thank you for playing with me. That concludes today's episode of Change Your Reality.
If you'd like to apply to be a guest on the show or be part of our community, or even check out the Facilitator program, you can find all the details on the website at nickbreau.com. Bye for now.